SoberNotMature - Episode 178 (Fruit And Feelings)

 

00:00:01.36
Bill
All right, everyone. Welcome once again to another episode of Sober, Not Mature. And, i you know, we didn't have a chance ah i didn't have chance to ask you, do I sound echoey at all?

00:00:13.34
Bill
You're little bit of a...

00:00:13.55
Mike
Uh, maybe little bit.

00:00:14.86
Bill
don't know.

00:00:15.89
Mike
Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah

00:00:17.49
Bill
Well, who knows? Maybe it'll show up fine in the the recording. But yeah, the the room, and I notice it while I'm talking, obviously making phone calls for work.

00:00:23.29
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:00:24.59
Bill
It's got the hardwood floors, like the more of the laminate type that looks like a fake hardwood, you know?

00:00:28.10
Mike
Right. Yep.

00:00:29.94
Bill
And yeah, just a little bit, I don't know, it's one of those rooms that's kind of an open living room and kitchen type of thing. And I don't know, I'm like, a fuck it. it's

00:00:38.99
Mike
Right. You're like an old-time boss DJ, man, with reverb all over your voice.

00:00:39.96
Bill
You know, it's...

00:00:43.71
Bill
Yeah, it's like, what the fuck am I going to do? I mean, I could go into the bedroom, but it's the same thing. And I'm like, yeah, fuck it. it did is

00:00:48.47
Mike
Wrap a blanket around your head. Right.

00:00:50.36
Bill
You know, i could I could do that too. I could do that too. but Yeah, but you know what?

00:00:52.98
Mike
It's the perfect thing to do in the middle of July.

00:00:57.65
Bill
we're We're professionals. the The topics and the things that are going to come out of our our fucking pie holes are going to...

00:01:02.78
Mike
Wait. Professionals?

00:01:05.59
Bill
That was said sarcastically.

00:01:05.76
Mike
We're getting paid for this?

00:01:07.15
Bill
No. i

00:01:08.95
Mike
Let's.

00:01:09.22
Bill
You know what?

00:01:09.23
Mike
We do.

00:01:09.66
Bill
Okay.

00:01:09.75
Mike
Right?

00:01:09.94
Bill
Well, we let's let's let's step back a little bit. So we've we've talked about this a little bit you know on here.

00:01:13.05
Mike
Right?

00:01:16.46
Bill
We've been kind of open. So yes, we do generate some revenue, right?

00:01:22.50
Mike
we do

00:01:23.47
Bill
um But if we looked at, I think the probably the easiest thing would be to look at, ah like a business would to look at, which we we do have one when we do our taxes, our profit loss statement, okay?

00:01:32.88
Mike
right

00:01:36.29
Bill
It's kind of like a pros and cons type of column for just anyone out there.

00:01:39.07
Mike
Sure.

00:01:39.88
Bill
I know I'm dumbing it down for us and everyone else, but the pros column is relatively thin. That would be the profit comment or column.

00:01:47.38
Mike
Yes, it would.

00:01:47.75
Bill
And then the loss, that's the big one. That's the big one there.

00:01:51.55
Mike
Right.

00:01:52.82
Bill
so So, again, so, so yes, in in a general sense, if somebody said, answer this question honestly, do you make any money?

00:01:53.40
Mike
Right. Taking an inventory of this podcast.

00:02:01.63
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:02:03.48
Bill
The question is yes, okay?

00:02:05.11
Mike
Sure. Yeah.

00:02:06.65
Bill
But... If somebody said, do you make a profit? The answer is clearly and completely.

00:02:12.81
Mike
unequivocally Vigorously.

00:02:14.15
Bill
That's where I was looking for a big word. Thank you, Mike. Um, strenuously, i would say no, I would strenuously object to the fact that, uh, we do not make a profit.

00:02:25.87
Mike
No.

00:02:27.22
Bill
Okay. So back up. We're not professionals. And I figured a little bit of echo the fuck am I going to do anyhow, but, uh, I'll talk a little bit more about this place.

00:02:31.95
Mike
Right.

00:02:34.22
Bill
It's, it's nice. I'm, I'm, I'm happy. I'm happy here.

00:02:36.32
Mike
Yeah, I saw the pictures.

00:02:36.58
Bill
so

00:02:37.68
Mike
They look cool.

00:02:38.83
Bill
Yeah. And the the thing that is that i um I didn't, I didn't either didn't pay attention to it.

00:02:42.79
Mike
Where would one find those pictures, Bill?

00:02:46.59
Bill
They would be on our Instagram and our Facebook page, Mike.

00:02:48.72
Mike
Ah.

00:02:50.30
Bill
Or you could go to the modern day hobo if you want to get to the other page.

00:02:54.53
Mike
a

00:02:55.85
Bill
Still trying to figure out just, this is just a side note. And I wouldn't, I don't know if I'm not going I mean, your opinion, I don't think you necessarily have one, one way or the other, but when When I first started that, again, the modern-day hobo thing, the book has nothing to do, um no mention of sobriety at all in the book.

00:03:11.81
Bill
And I i did that on purpose, you know, because um it's not just it's just not just meant for, you know, sober people.

00:03:12.33
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right.

00:03:19.29
Bill
Anyone could do it.

00:03:19.51
Mike
Sure. Mm-hmm.

00:03:20.48
Bill
You know, but then the more I thought about it, and I'm trying to think about, i mean, we've got such a decent following on, um you know, our Sober Not Mature page, and you know what I do. I mean, I post on there, and I tag the other people The other page to try to draw people in um very, very small group that's over there.

00:03:33.18
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:03:35.68
Bill
But when I see suggestions for people I can connect with from on Instagram, usually it's sober people.

00:03:43.05
Mike
Right.

00:03:43.29
Bill
So trying to figure out a way i might I might try to, you know, kind of not I'm not going to change the book. Obviously, that is what it is. But from a social media, maybe even the website type of thing, start leading into a little bit more of the sober stuff.

00:03:50.33
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:03:54.92
Bill
The sober curators listed on our on our website.

00:03:57.88
Mike
Sure.

00:03:58.00
Bill
You know, you can be part of It can be ours. It's ours.

00:03:59.83
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:04:00.62
Bill
Because you're traveling with me anyhow, technically.

00:04:04.45
Mike
Right.

00:04:04.65
Bill
So it's...

00:04:04.73
Mike
And I'm doing some traveling in the near future, so what the hell?

00:04:08.68
Bill
Yeah, so you're you're you're a part-time hobo.

00:04:11.23
Mike
I am.

00:04:11.39
Bill
Part-time hobo.

00:04:12.38
Mike
yeah see Our tiny little coattails.

00:04:12.49
Bill
um But, you know, the Sober Curator's on there as a sponsor. We're on there as Sober Not Mature. So I don't know. I was just kind of thinking about that. not I mean, I'm already trying to ride off the coattails and the Sober Not Mature thing anyhow.

00:04:23.43
Bill
You know, so why not throw, just throw some so sober shit on there and see what I can pull in. So...

00:04:29.52
Bill
Yeah, but you know what? And we have, and I know I keep saying it, but we do, we have a we have a very solid, um I say loyal, maybe that's the wrong word, but I think so.

00:04:40.29
Bill
You know, a loyal group of people and they're, you know, they're engaged.

00:04:41.89
Mike
Right.

00:04:43.30
Bill
The people who, um you know, listen to us and in comment and that sort of thing are engaged. You know, we've got 6,500 followers and probably, i don't even think more than, you know, 100, maybe a couple of hundred are actively engaged on a regular basis, which is fine.

00:04:56.57
Mike
really Right. Yep.

00:04:58.93
Bill
um But, I mean, it is. We've got a good, you know, it's ah it's a small-ish group. Same thing with our listener base. But, you know, they're they're a good, solid group of people. So those those of you who are listening, once again, fucking thank you.

00:05:10.63
Mike
Oh, yes, absolutely.

00:05:10.72
Bill
Right, Mike?

00:05:13.37
Bill
Thank you for continuing to listen to us. and

00:05:15.14
Mike
Thank you. Right in the neck.

00:05:18.26
Bill
this The last episode, we actually got a little bit, it seemed like it got a little bit more play. I mean, it stalled usually this time of week. It it stalls. But our last episode, for whatever reason, got a little bit more little bit more play than what the other ones were.

00:05:30.80
Bill
So I don't know.

00:05:31.79
Mike
All right.

00:05:31.91
Bill
You know, what's the it's the midsummer stuff. Oh, um our buddy Al again from Facebook and Instagram, the one that guessed who we were talking about, you know, obviously with the begging for money thing.

00:05:42.93
Mike
ahha

00:05:43.25
Bill
um he we were going back and forth about a couple of things you know kind of leading out of that and uh you know i thanked him i said you know appreciate you know both of us do we appreciate you listening and you know i said i i appreciate the messages and it's fun going back and forth and he goes he goes well i'm here at i'm here for the long haul he goes i'm gonna listen listen until you guys ride into the sunset so i'm like well

00:06:03.12
Mike
Ah.

00:06:03.93
Bill
Well, God damn it. Thank you. Thank you very much.

00:06:05.10
Mike
Yes. Thank you.

00:06:06.34
Bill
So yeah we got, we got one person hanging around. Thanks Al. Worst case scenario.

00:06:09.58
Mike
Yep.

00:06:10.65
Bill
We're just sitting here talking into what we think is a, is a void. And there's Alan in his, in his living room or his car wherever listening to this fucking nonsense.

00:06:14.81
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:06:18.76
Mike
Right.

00:06:20.28
Bill
So speaking ah of one nonsense, I, I, I didn't write down any new stuff this week.

00:06:24.80
Mike
right.

00:06:25.20
Bill
So here's my thought. And well, we're going to have to do it because I didn't, I haven't, don't have any new shit anyhow.

00:06:30.22
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:06:30.51
Bill
um But I've got i literally, I got like three pages of, you know, like shit, all these topics.

00:06:36.66
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:06:36.96
Bill
So um after the reading and whatever time we spend bla blabbing on about that, it's a bad way to put it because it's their readings, probably the best part of our podcast.

00:06:43.53
Mike
Yeah.

00:06:46.37
Mike
sure uh-huh sure sure

00:06:47.32
Bill
Okay. I'm sorry. After we have a nice deep discussion regarding the lovely reading that you have coming up, um I'm just going to go down top to bottom. I'm going to start at the top and just start going through these things. We may have talked about it before. Who fucking knows?

00:06:59.22
Mike
why not

00:06:59.51
Bill
And then we'll say, ah yeah, we want to talk about that or we don't or God damn, we bring that bringing that up again. and it's It's a midsummer cleaning. How's that?

00:07:07.80
Mike
sure yes why not

00:07:09.11
Bill
Cool. Okay. You're like, you I know it is. You wouldn't care anyhow. If I just started doing it, you wouldn't know what I was, that I was starting from that any or doing that anyhow. So, but again, trying to bring, bring you in, into the mix of my little, little system I got going here, whatever that is.

00:07:22.21
Mike
All right.

00:07:24.75
Bill
All right, man. So, um, yeah, we got, uh, I know you got a baseball game this week, right? So we can and talk about that.

00:07:30.75
Mike
I do.

00:07:32.26
Bill
I want to, I want to hear about that again.

00:07:32.91
Mike
We will.

00:07:33.82
Bill
and then, uh, but I guess, first of all, what do you think?

00:07:34.16
Mike
Yep.

00:07:36.16
Bill
Reading?

00:07:36.82
Mike
Sure. Why the hell not?

00:07:41.82
Mike
Right. um Actually, we may have done this one before. I actually think we have, but it was today's. And I read it this morning and went, oh, shit, that's good. And I think you actually shared it today, too.

00:07:53.70
Mike
So it's just going to be it's going to be redundancy left and right here on the Sober Not Mature podcast on a beautiful Thursday that, yeah, friggin burnt.

00:07:59.34
Bill
It's all right, man. It's all right.

00:08:03.02
Mike
Work was hell and blah, blah, blah. But here we go. with the reading. It's from God Grant Me, and it's July 17th, and here it is. um If I had been present at creation, I would have given some useful hints.

00:08:20.49
Mike
Alfonso the Wise didn didn't have time to look him up. Go ahead and do that if you care. All right. i Even with all we have learned about our own limits and how things usually seem to work out when we stop trying to control them, we still think we know best.

00:08:38.38
Mike
Our egos never quit, do they? Over and over, we find that when we that when we get what we want, we often end up in trouble. When we get what our higher power wants, for us, we are happier.

00:08:53.76
Mike
Our recovery program suggests that we pray only for knowledge of our higher powers will for us and the power to carry that out. Praying in this way takes a great deal of trust.

00:09:05.62
Mike
We need to trust that our higher power truly does care for us and will lead us through the process of living a good life that fills, not empties our hearts and souls.

00:09:18.79
Mike
Prayer for the day. Higher power, I ask for knowledge for of your will for me today and the power to carry that out. I trust that if I do this, I will be living the life that is most fitting for me today.

00:09:33.12
Mike
Today's action. Damn it. ah How hard is it to trust my higher power?

00:09:36.60
Bill
Thank you.

00:09:39.29
Mike
What are the things that have happened in my life that make it hard to trust? Do I think these things were my higher powers will? What advice would I have given my higher power about these things?

00:09:52.10
Mike
I will talk through these questions with my sponsor today or my pal Bill, one of the two, and all you wonderful listeners.

00:09:59.83
Bill
Yeah, you can you can help us help us chat along. How's that? So um I actually did the i did the Keep It Simple one this morning.

00:10:03.26
Mike
Sure.

00:10:07.73
Bill
I saw this one.

00:10:08.03
Mike
Did you?

00:10:09.05
Bill
And then Keep It Simple, I always read i read first. And i ah if it if it's one that catches me, I'll grab that. and then if God grant me kind of outweighs it, then I'll i'll do that. don't remember what Keep It Simple was. But um it just kind of, I don't know, it it weighed out that.

00:10:23.03
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:10:23.08
Bill
But this one I like.

00:10:23.69
Mike
Sure. Yeah.

00:10:24.54
Bill
And I always laugh at the opening one where, yeah, if I would have been around during creation, I would have given some useful hints.

00:10:29.75
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:10:29.98
Bill
I mean, that's, that's fucking funny. I mean, it's, uh, because it's, it's us, us as a collective alcoholic and a drug addict group, you know?

00:10:32.11
Mike
Yeah.

00:10:35.95
Mike
Yes.

00:10:39.93
Bill
Um, cause, uh, uh, I mean, especially, well, and even, i was going to say, and maybe that's the right way to put it, especially while, while we were still drinking, obviously before we got sober.

00:10:48.73
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:10:49.69
Bill
But I, I think even to this day, cause we probably talked about this openly.

00:10:51.53
Mike
Oh, yeah.

00:10:53.41
Bill
Um, we, I have some suggestions every once in a while, um,

00:10:56.81
Mike
Oh, absolutely. hey You're doing that wrong. Exactly.

00:11:01.88
Bill
yeah

00:11:02.08
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.

00:11:02.68
Bill
You're going the wrong way.

00:11:02.68
Mike
Yeah. exactly

00:11:05.63
Bill
How does he know where we're going? He's drunk.

00:11:07.41
Mike
yeah yeah

00:11:10.52
Bill
But um yeah, just to as soon as I started saying that, I'm like, yeah, God, I'm still fucking that way sometimes. But, um you know, the i think the good thing is just like a lot of the the things we talk about, and thankfully, the way that we act is that even though, um back to you, you know, my my thoughts are all kinds of fucked up.

00:11:14.66
Mike
is is

00:11:26.65
Bill
You know, i i thought it, I just didn't say anything or didn't do anything.

00:11:27.16
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:11:29.68
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:11:30.90
Bill
um So I think thankfully, even though these these fucked up are maybe our quote unquote useful useful hints, they're there, but we don't necessarily open up our

00:11:37.38
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:11:40.06
Bill
fucking traps every time, right?

00:11:40.96
Mike
Right. Absolutely. Yeah. And I mean, I know from personal experience, um you know, anything I'm going to say is not going to do anything to anybody anyway, because anything that anybody said to me didn't do a goddamn thing. I had to learn it the hard way.

00:11:56.19
Bill
Right?

00:11:56.16
Mike
And I just assume most people also need to learn it the hard way. So I go ahead and let them.

00:12:04.46
Bill
You know it's funny. And I just thought about this and I think if, I don't know if Derek still listens to to the podcast. He actually, did I tell you, he started listening to the Milwaukee morning show that I listened to.

00:12:13.70
Mike
No, no.

00:12:14.49
Bill
Yeah.

00:12:15.32
Mike
All

00:12:15.37
Bill
Um, God, a few, a few months ago, um maybe six, whatever it was, it's, it's been within the last probably six or eight months.

00:12:22.47
Mike
right.

00:12:22.68
Bill
Um, I mentioned something and about the podcast. I said, do you still listen? He goes, he goes, and I'm like, that's fine.

00:12:28.75
Mike
yeah Yeah, right.

00:12:29.33
Bill
I'm like, it's, you know, if you do, it's it's fine. If you don't, it's not a big deal. And he goes, he goes, I actually started listening to to Bob and Brian. That's the name of the show. And I'm like, really? And he goes, yeah. He goes, I, he goes, I've just put my headphones on.

00:12:41.12
Bill
He goes, I listened to that at work. And I'm like, Jesus Christ.

00:12:43.17
Mike
Right.

00:12:44.25
Bill
I said, I've been, um I've been listening to that. They said literally your entire life. But I said, probably for about, you know, six, seven, eight years before that. He goes, he goes, I, he goes, I remember, he goes, we drive in the car.

00:12:51.98
Mike
Right.

00:12:54.75
Bill
And when you were dropping, when he had to drop me off to school, whatever he goes, I remember, he because I remember listening to them, you know, when he was just a fucking child,

00:12:57.52
Mike
Sure.

00:13:01.95
Mike
Right.

00:13:02.74
Bill
And, uh, I just thought that was so funny. And I said, uh, I said, God, I said there, it amazes me that they haven't retired yet. Cause they're, they're almost, ah if they're not in their mid sixties, they're close. And he's like, really?

00:13:12.75
Mike
see

00:13:13.71
Bill
He goes, I never would have guessed that.

00:13:15.37
Mike
yeah

00:13:15.46
Bill
He goes, you know, they, he goes, they don't, they don't sound that way.

00:13:18.03
Mike
Right.

00:13:18.17
Bill
You know, that sound like old and, you know, and maybe we don't, I mean, we, we talk about hold we are, but I don't think we acted neither today.

00:13:22.10
Mike
Right.

00:13:25.25
Bill
Um, but, uh, but anyhow, so with the, with the

00:13:27.73
Mike
Well, you know, alcoholics, DJs, we're immature.

00:13:31.34
Bill
yeah That is for goddamn sure. though Those guys have been doing that for 30, they're coming up on 40 years, not in Milwaukee, but um I mean, they hit Milwaukee in 87, 88, you know, so what, 30, yeah, they've been in Milwaukee for like 38 years, you know.

00:13:37.31
Mike
Wow. Right.

00:13:41.82
Mike
Hmm.

00:13:44.55
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.

00:13:47.77
Bill
But dumb yeah, it's so so anyhow, with it, with the podcast thing, ah if Derek listens to this, he'll remember it. So as he was getting into, um you know, obviously the age where, you know, hes he started working, getting his bank account, doing those sort of things.

00:14:00.44
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:14:01.66
Bill
You know, I just give him like little bits and pieces of information. And I said, you know, I both Don and I were telling him right away, you know, you should get a credit card, but use it for things that you'd normally pay cash for this and that build this up, blah, blah, blah.

00:14:12.36
Mike
Uh-huh. Right.

00:14:13.90
Bill
And, you know, and one of the things I told him, I said, just one of the key things, I said, always try to keep your credit card debt under 30%. I said, that's one of the key indicators on credit reports.

00:14:22.24
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right.

00:14:23.79
Bill
You know, so a couple years later, we were driving up to Appleton and, you know, he's like, he goes oh, he goes, I just got a new card. He goes, this one with Capital One. And he goes, I got that one, too. and I said, well, that's kind of cool. He goes, yeah, he goes, they just sent me this shit, blah, blah, blah.

00:14:35.99
Bill
And, uh, and he's like, uh, because yeah, he goes, I use it, but he goes, you know, i was looking into it and he goes, I'm, you know, i'm trying to keep it down to, you know, like 20% or whatever, no more than that.

00:14:44.92
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:14:45.08
Bill
You know, so he said anything higher than that. He goes, if you go over 30%, it could, thanks for your credit.

00:14:47.56
Mike
Right. Sure. Of course.

00:14:49.46
Bill
And I'm like, like, dude, I, I told you that like three years ago.

00:14:52.98
Mike
ah huh

00:14:53.69
Bill
And he's like, well, I guess I had to learn it on my own. Yeah.

00:14:57.38
Mike
yeah

00:14:58.80
Bill
Or something like that, you know, and it was just, it's a classic fucking example.

00:15:00.16
Mike
right

00:15:02.29
Bill
know yeah Our kids are the same goddamn way.

00:15:02.67
Mike
see

00:15:04.05
Bill
Nothing wrong with them.

00:15:04.38
Mike
sure

00:15:04.73
Bill
They got to make their own mistakes. But, um you know, because it just, and the other thing that I wrote down and I put in quotes, we know best, which, I mean, as when I was Derek's age, when I was a teenager, I thought I knew best.

00:15:06.07
Mike
of course

00:15:16.15
Bill
and only got fucking worse as I got a couple of years under my belt and a couple of bottles of booze in me, right?

00:15:16.43
Mike
Of course.

00:15:22.27
Mike
and is

00:15:23.20
Bill
i mean, i I don't know best, I don't think, right?

00:15:25.57
Mike
and

00:15:25.65
Bill
Yeah.

00:15:26.44
Mike
Probably not. Yeah.

00:15:27.79
Bill
yeah But the next thing I wrote down was ah if we get what we want, that that could equal trouble.

00:15:33.29
Mike
yeah

00:15:33.41
Bill
um Do you agree with that completely? And I'm using the word completely, but um do you agree with that?

00:15:40.43
Mike
I mean, h you know, ah clearly because of sobriety, and because of working the program and being involved in all this shit, um I think ah probably have a bit better perspective on, you know, what I want now than, you know, before, you know.

00:15:58.80
Bill
Right.

00:15:59.22
Mike
Yeah. So, yeah, I mean, clearly, you know, ah we've talked about it on here plenty of times. Yes, the true me, the liar, the cheat, the thief, the fucking drunk, the junkie, um the guy that wants to feel good all the goddamn time, no matter what.

00:16:15.63
Mike
Yeah, that guy, no Everything he wants, of course. all Yeah, but this sober guy who, um you know, has, ah you know, at least a couple of brain cells left that occasionally touch each other.

00:16:29.91
Mike
Um, you know, yeah, I mean, there's, ah you know, there's stuff that I have, you know, the stuff that I'm grateful for. um yeah, clearly I want it. Um, you know, I mean, relationships and whatever. Yes, these are things that I want and I'm happy that I have. And, and, um, so, you know, in that sense, no, um, yes, these are things that I want. I want to continue my relationships with the people that I have relationships with and all that good stuff.

00:16:56.18
Mike
Um,

00:16:56.51
Bill
Right.

00:16:56.51
Mike
Um, so yeah, you know, I don't know. That brings me happiness. Um, yeah, but again, yes, the alcoholic drug addict, me, no, uh, whatever the fuck he wants, don't give it to him.

00:17:09.92
Bill
at all Don't listen to that half of me.

00:17:12.16
Mike
No.

00:17:14.21
Bill
But, and that's ah what i what I, I thought about that for a second after I wrote it down. And I mean, and you you put it to you put it in a good way, I think, is that, you know, being around this this this shit for a while and, you know, having a little bit of time and a little bit of knowledge and, you know, some experience and some background, um i I think we can trust a little bit more about what we what we want.

00:17:28.21
Mike
see

00:17:34.47
Bill
But the the bottom line there is that like all those things you were just saying, it made me think about it is that, All those things go back to what what you say all the time is that, um yes, we want a relationship, but they're a by that's a byproduct of doing, you know, the things we do.

00:17:46.52
Mike
Oh, yeah. Yo.

00:17:48.42
Bill
um We want happiness, which is a byproduct. And, you know, I want to I want peace and I want serenity and I do want happiness. And, you know, even from a because, again, you know, going back to this whole money thing, you know.

00:17:59.32
Mike
Yeah.

00:17:59.74
Bill
When, know, I had this trip trip plan and whatever, and I'm like, God, I got to fucking spend money for gas. I'm running around these goddamn places.

00:18:04.94
Mike
Yeah, right. Mm-hmm.

00:18:06.77
Bill
And this is this is probably in the in the last well, since I've been working here in the last year and a half, almost um probably the tightest I've been on money.

00:18:14.82
Mike
who

00:18:14.91
Bill
um You know, it's again, I'm not I'm not in a critical state, but um I can't go off fucking willy nilly on shit, you know.

00:18:21.81
Mike
yeah right

00:18:22.33
Bill
um And I know that it's fine because I don't need to go off all fucking willy nilly on shit.

00:18:26.67
Mike
this is

00:18:27.58
Bill
Like, for instance, when I went to the grocery store and I I've done it two weeks in a row, I I purchased the um the family pack of chicken breast.

00:18:37.16
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:18:37.33
Bill
You know, I did it at Meijer and I did it um this time I went to I did it at Walmart, you know, um and I end up with, you know, whatever it is, it's, you know, it's 271 a pound for the chicken versus if I would get it at the deli at Meijer, which I like that chicken better it's for whatever reason, a little bit better quality.

00:18:52.22
Mike
Sure. Sure.

00:18:53.99
Bill
um That's like, you know, four dollars a pound. And I mean, I can get this whole fucking mound of I even got I got one extra, you know, this week.

00:18:57.47
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:19:02.48
Mike
Right.

00:19:03.37
Bill
You know, it's it's like $11 for, you know, whatever it is, four fucking pounds of chicken. I mean, it's fine. i and then, cause I didn't need to buy even hamburger. When you buy the pack, you're like, oh, you can get all this.

00:19:14.38
Bill
It's like only, only $10, but it's like fucking $8 a pound. Hamburger is, you know, you buy a steak.

00:19:18.87
Mike
Yeah, sure.

00:19:21.02
Bill
I mean, it's, you know, buy a, I like ribeye. I'll get it on sale. I'm like, Ooh, I got it for 13, you know, $13. But I mean, it was on sale for, you know, $12 a pound or whatever it is, you know, or $13 a pound, you know? And it's like, God, it's fucking ridiculous, you know?

00:19:36.48
Bill
Um, but my point is, is that, I can find happiness. I don't need a lot of shit, you know, and I'm, I've gotten to the point literally over, probably over the last, I don't know handful of years, I'd say when I kind of came to that conclusion, when I stopped chasing whatever this, you know, whatever, whatever success is, and that's a big fucking air quote.

00:19:58.07
Mike
Right.

00:19:58.35
Bill
um whatever visual success is, society's success.

00:20:01.83
Mike
he

00:20:01.89
Bill
You know, what society looks at as success. I don't give a fuck about that. I don't.

00:20:05.50
Mike
right

00:20:06.26
Bill
I want to be able to do stuff like this and go see some beautiful shit. I want i want to tell you about the place I went last week. And I know I had posted pictures, but um that stuff makes me happy. And, you know, that again, my my kids, you know, my friends, you, you know, Kathy, family, um a couple of weeks we're going to be hanging out with family.

00:20:21.17
Mike
Yeah. Right. Yeah.

00:20:24.67
Bill
It doesn't cost a lot of money, you know.

00:20:26.12
Mike
Yeah.

00:20:27.01
Bill
It just did. Again, we're doing all the right things where we get to be part of.

00:20:32.55
Mike
see

00:20:33.46
Bill
Right.

00:20:34.27
Mike
Exactly. Yeah. and that Again, the byproduct. we We're happy because of it.

00:20:38.95
Bill
Right.

00:20:40.63
Mike
Yes, exactly.

00:20:40.68
Bill
Right.

00:20:43.08
Bill
yeah And if we're if we're off to and you know doing some doing some shady shit, I mean, all this shit's going to go away.

00:20:49.20
Mike
Yep.

00:20:49.35
Bill
um i Not even eventually, like right fucking away. you know It's just gone.

00:20:52.98
Mike
Yep.

00:20:53.86
Bill
Just fucking gone.

00:20:55.28
Mike
Yep. Mm-hmm.

00:20:56.44
Bill
So the other two things I wrote down had to do with trust. And it said, obviously, trust our trust our higher power. I got a question on that.

00:21:01.44
Mike
All right.

00:21:02.65
Bill
um Well, let's start with that. so um And I know that you know what you're... kind of what your concept is of a of a higher power, pretty much along the same lines what mine is. um I think you have more of a, you may have a little bit more of a dim sense of a higher power than I do, but mine's not much brighter.

00:21:19.31
Mike
Right? No.

00:21:20.33
Bill
You know, I think that's the best way to put it because I don't think either one of us can really put a, we can't put a label or a face on it. But um so,

00:21:25.85
Mike
no

00:21:28.16
Bill
Let's start with that. I mean, do you trust in this power grade of yourself greater than yourself to to get through a day? or Or how do you deal with that, that trust factor with that part of it?

00:21:38.51
Mike
Yeah, I mean, you know, um yeah, clearly I do. i But, you know, didn't in the beginning. That's for damn sure. all

00:21:45.78
Bill
Right.

00:21:46.81
Mike
You know, I do now because, again, see the results of of, you know, yes, things greater than myself get me through better than I do by myself.

00:21:56.57
Bill
Right.

00:21:56.57
Mike
So, yeah, yeah. But yeah, you know, in the beginning, absolutely not. i had I had some serious questions about if this shit was going to work.

00:22:07.21
Mike
But, i you know, I let those go and and, you know, again, had that key of willingness to go, well, clearly my way wasn't working, so let's let's give this shit a shot. And, you know, 15 years later, it's working all right. So...

00:22:23.48
Bill
Right.

00:22:24.39
Mike
Yeah, but, you know, yeah, I do. i have And again, that is a form of trust and a form of faith. And, and and yeah, you know, fuck, my way is not working. All right, I'll let something else work.

00:22:36.06
Bill
Right.

00:22:36.10
Mike
And, yeah, you know, it's ah I try not to think about it too much, and I certainly don't try to question it anymore because what the hell's the point? Earning calories, man. Right.

00:22:47.28
Bill
Right. Yeah. and that And that is the point. i don't I literally do not think about it that much. The only time I think about it is is when um I don't know what I when I see see or read something more about um like somebody talking about specifically a God thing.

00:22:52.56
Mike
Right.

00:23:04.19
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:23:04.68
Bill
You know, like somebody's putting this again, it's a it's a picture, it's a face, it's a label, it's a thing, it's a it's an actual almost like an object, you know, um whereas with that, i'm just kind of I don't I don't necessarily roll my eyes.

00:23:10.90
Mike
Right.

00:23:14.57
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:23:18.24
Bill
I just couldn't. I can't comprehend that.

00:23:21.59
Mike
Right.

00:23:21.82
Bill
You know, me putting, um, literally saying that, okay, this I'm looking at my coffee cup right now that, okay, this is, this is God right here. Okay. Which I mean, partially copy he's kind of God ish to me, but that's, yeah, especially when do you try to, when you accidentally, you know, take away caffeine, like I did a year ago.

00:23:32.57
Mike
Sure. well Power greater than you.

00:23:41.52
Bill
Um, But so, but if it was an object that I had to look at and say, okay, that's the thing in that maybe that's, was the, that was a hard part for me, but you know, like, again, Dan saying that, just realize that's not you.

00:23:53.22
Bill
And like you, you've always put it really well when you just said that, that faith, um you know, in that, that whole feeling of, okay. Other people are doing it. Other people getting by with this. i got to have a little bit of faith and um just a little bit of, you know, hope that everything's going to work out.

00:24:03.26
Mike
Right.

00:24:07.47
Bill
And um i I need to know that if I keep walking down this particular, you know, pathway right here, um everyone's telling me it's going to be OK.

00:24:07.89
Mike
Yep.

00:24:15.63
Bill
And 15 years later, it's been OK.

00:24:16.10
Mike
Yeah.

00:24:17.47
Bill
So can I fucking question that, you know?

00:24:17.99
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm.

00:24:21.53
Bill
yeah But so the second question though is, um you know, obviously, ah ah you know, we've just talked about hard, maybe being hard to trust a higher power, but what about other people?

00:24:32.79
Bill
Okay. So, and we've talked about this, I know I'm sure probably on a number of occasions, but, um and I don't even know the right question to ask. Is it maybe in the, in the beginning versus now, is it so difficult for you to put your trust in, in an individual or, or is that, is that a challenge at all?

00:24:51.26
Mike
Oh, yeah. i Trusting people? Good God. I'm a person. I don't trust myself. Why would I trust you? um

00:25:02.11
Bill
Yeah, that's a, that's a fucking good point. That's

00:25:04.39
Mike
Right. No, but i clearly, yes, there are people that I trust. Um, you know, yeah.

00:25:09.25
Bill
right.

00:25:10.19
Mike
And the other end, you know, talking in my headphones right now is one of them. Um, yeah, you know, uh, but again, yeah proof, you know, show me, and I'm not from Missouri, but fucking show me, man.

00:25:19.65
Bill
Right.

00:25:22.62
Mike
Um, Yeah, you know, prove yourself. Like, I have to prove myself to other people. Absolutely. I don't, you know, expectations. I don't expect people to try. i did expect people to trust me and and then took advantage of that.

00:25:33.06
Bill
Right.

00:25:35.91
Mike
ah but You trust me, sucker. um Right. You know, so, yeah, you know, people have proven themselves just like this process has proven itself and powers greater than myself have proven themselves. But, yeah, you know, it's it's got to be proven to me. I'm not going to.

00:25:53.99
Mike
I'm not going to walk up to somebody I have no idea idea who they are and trust them. Here, here's my wallet and my car keys and my, you know, yeah no, it's not happening.

00:25:58.04
Bill
right

00:26:02.88
Mike
um Never will. That's fine. You know, um I don't want it to happen.

00:26:04.81
Bill
Right.

00:26:07.03
Mike
Then I'm just an idiot. I try not to be one of those anymore. So, all yeah, you know, of course, yes, it's difficult. um But I, again, ah with...

00:26:18.49
Mike
being taught through this program that, you know, if I give it a chance um and it turns out that, you know, it it it is a positive thing, then yes, I'm going to put my trust in it and I will defend it with everything I've got. And yeah, absolutely. But, you know, it's got to, it's got to show itself to me.

00:26:37.82
Bill
Right. Yeah. And that's a, I mean, that's, that's another, um that's a good, a good point because the, and I, I think I knew, I think I knew what the answer was going to be because I, I'm pretty much the same way that, you know, I mean, ah i I don't expect, i don't expect people, I do expect to have to work, you know, for people's trust.

00:26:49.12
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:26:56.72
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:26:57.35
Bill
You know, and I do it through my actions because that's what we were taught. You know, um this fucking mouth of mine is not going to it's not going to prove any goddamn thing.

00:27:00.40
Mike
Right.

00:27:03.62
Mike
All right. Mm-hmm. Yeah, right.

00:27:06.34
Bill
um I can say whatever I want to anyone. And it doesn't mean a fucking thing. What am i what am I doing? And, i' you know, that then then those people trust me without me having to say, hey, trust me.

00:27:15.30
Mike
yeah right

00:27:16.29
Bill
yeah um But on the other hand too, yeah, it's, it trust has to be earned. I feel that I have to, I have to earn, my trust has to be earned with people, you know, so their trust needs to be earned with me.

00:27:27.56
Mike
Absolutely.

00:27:27.76
Bill
um And you know what? And we've got, um I know both you and I have really um small groups of people, you know, that we, that we associate with number one and really all even smaller groups of people that we would trust, you know?

00:27:35.47
Mike
Yeah. Yeah.

00:27:38.57
Mike
listent

00:27:42.45
Mike
Yeah.

00:27:43.31
Bill
And, and I take that down again. I go back to the, like all the people that we play poker with and stuff like that, any, any mix of the group of people that we, that we played poker with over the years.

00:27:49.63
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:27:54.79
Bill
um I don't know that I would tell my deepest, darkest secrets secrets openly to everyone in the room.

00:27:59.82
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:28:00.48
Bill
Cause maybe I just don't know. each and every person as deeply as I would for that.

00:28:06.06
Mike
Right.

00:28:06.23
Bill
But for the, for the most part, I'm, I don't feel uncomfortable. I don't feel like I'm going to be judged.

00:28:11.32
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:28:11.41
Bill
I feel like I could have an open conversation in that, you know, in that space, you know, and then there's, then there's,

00:28:13.69
Mike
Right. Absolutely. yeah there's there's Yeah, there's no guard up.

00:28:19.09
Bill
Correct.

00:28:19.72
Mike
Yeah.

00:28:19.97
Bill
And then, you know, there's there's people like you and then there's Michael and there's Tony and um I mean, Marty.

00:28:23.75
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:28:25.05
Bill
Marty's another one that I would.

00:28:25.93
Mike
Right.

00:28:26.61
Bill
And then, you know, take all the I mean, you figure all the all the female friends that we have. um I could I would easily feel comfortable having um a deep, open conversation with any one of them and not worry, not worry about. I trust them.

00:28:38.89
Bill
You know, I mean, I wouldn't worry about that sort of thing.

00:28:38.95
Mike
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, worried that it's going to be used against you in a court of law.

00:28:40.57
Bill
So.

00:28:42.93
Bill
Right. Right. Yeah. Or any court of law or anywhere else.

00:28:45.13
Mike
Right.

00:28:47.04
Bill
Right. But here here's the other thing I just thought about, too, that um I'm quicker to um shut down that trust if um if it's proven the other way. And I think there's a few examples over the years where.

00:28:56.97
Mike
Oh, yeah. Hmm.

00:29:00.07
Bill
um I don't want to say that I've been fucked over, but, you know, the person has changed their ways. and And I just i' I'm actually proud of myself that I've been able to and I don't say cut people off, but remove myself from that situation because um it's it's not in my best interest is for my well-being to to be like, I can't.

00:29:18.87
Bill
No, I can't give you i can't.

00:29:20.36
Mike
Right.

00:29:21.25
Bill
you know No, no.

00:29:21.39
Mike
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. We have standards today. Sure.

00:29:26.66
Bill
Yeah, hit it it it's, you know, it's it's standards, but it's also, it's just, it's literally the, it's self-preservation, you know?

00:29:33.60
Mike
Sure.

00:29:34.43
Bill
um I don't, I don't, I don't want to allow, and I'm not going to, I'm not going allow anyone to to fuck up my life. If I choose to fuck it up, that's mine.

00:29:41.37
Mike
Right.

00:29:44.44
Mike
Right.

00:29:45.62
Bill
That's my goddamn choice, which I don't want to do that either, but um there's no goddamn way that some other fucker's going to, you know, be the one to fuck up my life.

00:29:48.40
Mike
Right.

00:29:51.93
Mike
Nope.

00:29:53.34
Bill
I'm not going let that happen.

00:29:53.52
Mike
Right. Yeah.

00:29:55.19
Bill
Let me man and fuck it up myself if I feel like it.

00:29:59.54
Bill
but But again, I don't want to do that today.

00:29:59.67
Mike
right

00:30:01.38
Bill
so But no, that's a, that was, you know, that's a good reading. I'm i'm glad, I'm glad you grabbed that one.

00:30:06.13
Mike
yeah

00:30:07.25
Bill
I really am because that talked about a lot of, a lot of good things, but yeah, I mean, again, the, the trusting part I think is one of the biggest things. And until we sit down and, you know, we talk about that and we bring it up plenty of times.

00:30:19.39
Bill
I just don't, I don't think about it as much, you know, about again, how small our, our world is of people that, you know, that we trust and that we, I don't know, can be open with it.

00:30:25.47
Mike
yeah

00:30:29.46
Bill
And it's not a bad thing. I don't think, you know,

00:30:31.23
Mike
No, absolutely not. I mean, yeah, you know, I hate to break it to you folks out there, but you know, there's a lot of people out there that aren't all that great. I think we covered it.

00:30:41.96
Bill
yeah

00:30:42.12
Mike
Yeah.

00:30:42.65
Bill
Yeah, that is that that's that's for goddamn sure.

00:30:46.23
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:30:48.32
Bill
All right. Anything else ah in the reading? Are you good?

00:30:50.55
Mike
yeah yeah i think i think we covered it

00:30:53.81
Bill
Sliced her up pretty well.

00:30:54.83
Mike
yeah

00:30:56.38
Bill
right, so it just it crossed my mind ah earlier today, and i made ah made a quick note on this, but you know we haven't asked people, again, for these loyal listeners and and all these sort of things that listen to us on a regular basis.

00:31:05.37
Mike
listen

00:31:07.90
Bill
um I don't know. I mean, I think everything we talk about is fucking brilliant, you know but...

00:31:11.42
Mike
Of course. Right. Mm-hmm.

00:31:13.46
Bill
I'm guessing it probably isn't. so um So, yeah, I mean, for those of you that listen on a regular basis, um if you have suggestions, and I mean, i mean this seriously, you know both of us, we we we've thrown this out there before, but it's been a while.

00:31:21.99
Mike
Mm-hmm. right

00:31:26.85
Bill
um Shoot us an email, and it is. it It's info at sobernotmature.com. So you can email us, message us through Facebook, through Instagram, anything like that.

00:31:36.15
Mike
z

00:31:37.13
Bill
um But if you yeah if you have any topics that you want us to discuss, um You know, talk about, I don't think there's, don't think there's anything that we'd be like, yeah, just don't. We want to talk about this.

00:31:46.43
Mike
Right.

00:31:47.42
Bill
yeah

00:31:48.00
Mike
No. Yeah. I mean, yeah yeah. I mean, that's kind of the point. I mean, if someone, someone has an issue, someone wants to hear our opinion on a certain subject.

00:31:58.50
Mike
ah Yeah.

00:31:58.55
Bill
Right.

00:31:59.66
Mike
You know, absolutely. we're We'll, we'll, we'll tell you that's one of the beautiful things. We, we don't have to hide anything anymore. So if you have a, you know, something you want to hear us talk about, let us know.

00:32:07.49
Bill
Right.

00:32:11.23
Mike
What is that again? Info at sober, not mature.com.

00:32:14.96
Bill
That would be it. Info at yeah.

00:32:15.86
Mike
Nice.

00:32:17.07
Bill
Or, ah I mean, even on, on Instagram, you'll see it. You can, there's actually a link on there.

00:32:19.97
Mike
Sure.

00:32:21.47
Bill
You can just click in and, you know, obviously email through so you don't have to type the shit out. But, um, in Facebook, I think, well, on our website, if you go on our website, there's a, a click through link on there too.

00:32:25.64
Mike
right.

00:32:31.02
Bill
So, um, wait, what's our, what's our website again, Mike?

00:32:34.91
Mike
Sobernotmature.com.

00:32:38.13
Bill
Yeah, and I think that if I, God, it's been so long since I, that's i mean, i look at this i look at the website every week because i always make sure our um our episodes show up before i before I post them.

00:32:47.04
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:32:47.93
Bill
But let's just take a peek. I think right on our homepage.

00:32:50.59
Mike
Right. I couldn't tell you the last time I was on our website.

00:32:55.85
Bill
Oh, yeah. Look, actually, when... No, that's our store website. Yeah, but actually on on our homepage, if you go on our... At least on our mobile site, scroll down a little bit.

00:33:05.31
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:33:06.16
Bill
It's got a link to our store. And then right below a little bit below, um there's a link right to our email on there, too. But...

00:33:11.59
Mike
and All right.

00:33:12.43
Bill
But yeah, I need to, I always need to go on here to make sure our links work. And before I post an episode, um so Spotify grabs it right away, but, and usually Amazon does, but then it'll take usually an hour, maybe a little bit more for Apple to pick it up.

00:33:17.54
Mike
Right. Mm-hmm.

00:33:26.87
Mike
Aha.

00:33:27.09
Bill
And we get probably 60, gosh, at least 60% of our, our listening listeners listening through Apple podcasts. So I always make sure that, that that's, that that's actually, you know, live on there that it's flopped onto.

00:33:35.69
Mike
Hmm.

00:33:40.52
Mike
Right. Right.

00:33:43.31
Bill
Not dropped, flopped.

00:33:43.29
Mike
I know, right, exactly. Yeah, and I know iHeartRadio gets it up there pretty quick, too.

00:33:50.47
Bill
Yeah, I just, I used to check, I used to always check, because Google Podcasts went away. don't know what that morphed into, but maybe just into, i don't know, Google something, whatever that is.

00:33:56.48
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:34:01.16
Bill
But anyhow, so um yeah, if you if you have suggestions, i mean, seriously, yeah you know, for both of us, well we're we're going to tell you like, tell it like it is, though.

00:34:01.92
Mike
Hmm.

00:34:09.74
Mike
Yep.

00:34:09.77
Bill
I'm not going necessarily sugarcoat If we don't agree with it, we'll tell you. We're going to be mean.

00:34:12.81
Mike
Oh, yeah.

00:34:13.99
Bill
But um anyone that's going to send us something, you've listened long enough, yeah but we don't need to tell you who we are.

00:34:13.98
Mike
Right.

00:34:19.71
Mike
Right.

00:34:20.65
Bill
Have you met us yet? Jesus Christ.

00:34:24.86
Bill
All right. So yeah, um, flood us with some suggestions. There you go. Okay. So, um, couple of quick things about, about this place. And I'll just tell you, tell you real quick. First of all, um, it's, it's nice. I mean, um, it's nice and quiet. i mean, the whole area around here, uh, it's,

00:34:41.26
Bill
Again, it's, it's fucking beautiful. It's like, it's kind of like Arkansas and in North Carolina, those fucking mountains there.

00:34:42.70
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right?

00:34:47.43
Bill
It's just, it's, it's fucking beautiful, you know, um, place that I'm at.

00:34:49.32
Mike
Right.

00:34:51.76
Bill
And this is, um, as I, as I pulled up and I, I don't know if I read it in a listing afterwards, but it's a, it's as they call it a manufactured home. Okay.

00:35:00.32
Mike
Aha.

00:35:00.99
Bill
So, um you know, it's, it's, I suppose that at one point, this thing probably came in, whether it came in on wheels or not, but, but I see a couple of around, you know, that you could tell they've been carted in and put down, you know, obviously put down and then there's a deck built around it the whole bit.

00:35:10.84
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right.

00:35:13.88
Bill
It's not on fucking wheels with a, you know, with a, with a propane tank hanging off the front or anything, but um you know, it's, it's really nice.

00:35:16.49
Mike
Mm.

00:35:18.91
Mike
Mm.

00:35:21.82
Bill
I mean, they, they, it's got everything, it's got the washer dryers, got the, you know, full kitchen, Um, it's not some piece of shit and, um, it's comfortable.

00:35:26.35
Mike
Mm.

00:35:29.49
Bill
a, it's really nice. You know? Um, it's funny though, that like right next door, uh, and it goes, the driveway to the next door neighbor goes back. It, it reminds me of some sort of compound.

00:35:39.75
Bill
I can't really see back there much, but you know, you drive in and it's got, it's got a gate. And then the sign that says, Oh, you're on camera smile. So it's got cameras or whatever.

00:35:47.56
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:35:47.60
Bill
I'm like, like, yeah, that's a, that's some sort of fucking compound back there.

00:35:50.84
Mike
Right.

00:35:50.91
Bill
But, um, Again, I don't hear any noise or anything. There's a there's another screaming cock down the road or across the street.

00:35:57.22
Mike
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

00:35:58.21
Bill
I hear that every goddamn morning.

00:35:58.20
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:35:59.61
Bill
Last last time that was in Amarillo. So we got a got a rooster out there. um But other than that, I mean, it's it's it's just nice. And shit, the the place that I went last weekend. And if if anyone is into this shit, it's called it's called Fall Creek Falls.

00:36:14.26
Bill
um It's it's insane. It's so fucking beautiful. It was, I was blown away. I mean, that's why, that's what brought me down here to begin with, because I wanted to see that. um But I tell you, this trail that I went on, at the end of it, um and you know, again, the signs like, ooh, very strenuous, this and that.

00:36:30.16
Bill
And it is, I mean, you walk down, it's like these, the switchback things, whatever, and you're kind of walking over rocks and some steps and whatever, but you're going down into this fucking gorge and then down where the the waterfall and all that shit is.

00:36:39.78
Mike
Right.

00:36:43.50
Bill
And I'm like, you know what? Fuck it. i i It's been a good run. if I, I can't get out of here. This is a beautiful enough, beautiful enough place. I mean, I, you know, fuck it.

00:36:52.31
Mike
right

00:36:52.55
Bill
I'm done. I'm cool with it, you know?

00:36:53.30
Mike
yeah.

00:36:54.72
Bill
And, and on top of it too, on a serious note, which is what I did, I'm like on the way back up, if I mainly it's my, my knees, you know, my knees still get sore. um But also I'm like, if I got to catch my breath or I just want to take a little rest, what the fuck, you got no place to be, um which is what I did.

00:37:09.55
Mike
Right.

00:37:11.05
Bill
And and at at one point, you know, like the trail would narrow down and this family was coming through I'm like, oh, come on through. and they're like, oh thank you very much. I'm like, well, I said on a selfish note, I said, I'm being a gentleman, but I'm like, that gives me a reason to rest for a minute.

00:37:24.58
Bill
they they're They're going down.

00:37:24.58
Mike
Yep.

00:37:26.62
Bill
They're there're just all fucking laughing their asses off.

00:37:28.52
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:37:28.70
Bill
I'm like, it's fucking serious. I'm serious. I'm true. It's true.

00:37:31.83
Mike
yep

00:37:32.05
Bill
But um no, it's just ridiculously beautiful. And then there's, God, i don't know, handful of other trails I'm going to go see this weekend. A lot of waterfall um things around here and stuff like that. So um yeah, I'm just a very, very impressed. But the other thing too is, I...

00:37:47.26
Bill
so i I pulled this um area up on my weather bug app. You know, i usually do that before I travel someplace a couple of weeks before just kind of keep an eye on the weather.

00:37:56.91
Mike
Sure.

00:37:57.33
Bill
And then so for the two weeks, let's say prior, every day had rain in the forecast. The entire week that I've been down here every day has had rain in the forecast.

00:38:02.48
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:38:06.30
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:38:06.71
Bill
um All next week, there's rain the forecast. um One of two things. I'll tell you the way it's been, but I also think the weather people are just like, Eh, fuck it. put Just put a chance for rain every goddamn day because that's that's what it does here.

00:38:17.88
Mike
Sure. Mm-hmm.

00:38:20.36
Bill
And like literally had we started on whatever it is on time tonight, it was raining like a motherfucker.

00:38:25.60
Mike
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

00:38:28.31
Mike
he

00:38:28.53
Bill
Okay. And I mean, there's a steel roof, you know, and I'm like, ah, fuck it, whatever.

00:38:31.12
Mike
Right?

00:38:32.44
Bill
But I mean, literally it stopped. It rained for like 15 minutes. Again, monsoon type rain. And then it's nothing, you know.

00:38:37.65
Mike
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

00:38:39.67
Bill
And on Sunday when i when I was down there, again, there's there's been a chance for rain anywhere between 25% to 75% chance of rain every fucking day. And it hasn't rained every day.

00:38:50.59
Bill
Or if it does, it rains for a little bit and then stops.

00:38:53.01
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:38:53.66
Bill
When I got done with the trail, I was sitting in my car. I was trying to pop in an address in my GPS of my car to get out.

00:38:59.44
Mike
Ice.

00:38:59.71
Bill
And it started, I mean, again, no shit, fucking monsoon rain. I had literally been in my car like five minutes, just fucking poured.

00:39:04.48
Mike
Ice.

00:39:07.12
Mike
ice

00:39:09.00
Bill
You see people scattering like goddamn cockroaches, trying to run in for their cars and shit like that.

00:39:12.30
Mike
he

00:39:14.13
Bill
It was fucking hilarious.

00:39:15.50
Mike
nice

00:39:15.55
Bill
But um yeah, so I mean, i don't know if the weather people just get get lazy and are like, ah we'll put it just a chance of rain for whatever.

00:39:21.19
Mike
isn

00:39:22.04
Bill
But um no, it's been it's been nice. Oh, last question. Have you ever heard a deer like huff or snort?

00:39:29.08
Mike
Sure.

00:39:30.00
Bill
Really?

00:39:30.65
Mike
Yeah.

00:39:31.49
Bill
All my years, I never have. I walked out the other morning. I don't know, whatever day, Monday, Tuesday. You know, so it's it's light out, but it's like, you know, quarter to six in the morning.

00:39:36.38
Mike
Mm

00:39:39.76
Mike
hmm.

00:39:40.46
Bill
And I hear something rustling in the, in the trees and it's, it's not completely wooded, but there's like a wooded area. um And then I hear this fucking story. It's what it sounded like is a, a bull from a cartoon.

00:39:52.28
Mike
Yeah.

00:39:52.87
Bill
And I'm like, the fuck man because i didn't see anything i couldn't see anything but it wasn't dark i just couldn't see anything in the woods but then yesterday i think when i walked outside um i saw the deer run from the yard and then run into the woods and doing that the entire time and then making a bunch of like clomping noises and things i've never heard from i've been around deer for a long time so i looked it up and they uh they do that to warn other deer

00:40:15.14
Mike
Sure.

00:40:20.20
Mike
Mm.

00:40:20.81
Bill
Which I didn't know. So it's say they make a lot they make stomping noises and then also that snorting and that huffing um to basically just warn the other deer, hey, there's a motherfucker out here.

00:40:30.28
Mike
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

00:40:31.81
Bill
But literally the first day, like it kind of scared the shit out of me.

00:40:34.82
Mike
Hehehehehe.

00:40:34.92
Bill
of What the fuck? What the fuck is going on here? But no, literally, i've never I've never heard of that before. I've never heard them doing that before. So anyhow, so I'm having a good time.

00:40:43.10
Mike
All right.

00:40:45.57
Bill
I'm happy.

00:40:45.88
Mike
That sounds like it.

00:40:46.05
Bill
It's a byproduct of what I'm doing, but I'm enjoying myself. So

00:40:50.52
Mike
right

00:40:51.21
Bill
All right. So this was brought up on on another podcast. I think this might be a relatively quick and easy conversation. But have we ever talked about the pink cloud type of thing? Or if we have, has it been a while?

00:41:02.15
Mike
um Yeah, we may have, but it's definitely been a while.

00:41:05.78
Bill
Okay. So um do you want to explain what the what the idea of a pink cloud is? And then I was going to ask you, i don't remember if you went through that tour or not or anything like that.

00:41:15.54
Mike
All right. Well, I mean, the concept is, you know, you stop poisoning yourself and you stop acting like a complete fucking asshole. And ah the world looks a bit better to you.

00:41:27.55
Bill
sorry.

00:41:29.27
Mike
you physically feel better and, you know, you start to emotionally and spiritually and whatever, feel better because you're not complete piece of crap. And, um, yeah, you get this, this warm and fuzzy. Oh, everything's goddamn wonderful. Cause I'm now I'm clean and sober and la la la.

00:41:50.70
Bill
I'm so glad I asked you to explain that because that was, it was fucking perfect. I think I would have been just normal. Hey, this is what it is to know the way you said that was fucking perfect. So, um, and I, I'll be honest with you. I don't remember if we've talked about it or even at the time that we went through it.

00:42:05.57
Bill
Did you, did you go through that phase where you felt a paint cloud type of thing in the literal sense or, okay.

00:42:10.53
Mike
No.

00:42:12.12
Bill
Okay.

00:42:12.16
Mike
No.

00:42:12.48
Bill
didn't.

00:42:14.37
Mike
No, because we were at the Keating Center and we were fucking doing what we were supposed to do at the Keating Center. And um no, how the hell are you going to get a pink cloud when you're fucking eating skanky day-old dogs from Progressive Field and...

00:42:31.67
Mike
four day old chicken and, you know, cleaning everything that's already cleaned 14 times a day. And it's all good. and i'm I'm so happy that we did it, but how the fuck are you going to be pink clouding with that shit going on?

00:42:47.57
Bill
Yeah, you know what? And I didn't i didn't either. you know I did not um either.

00:42:51.40
Mike
Raph.

00:42:53.02
Bill
And I mean, I did. you know I had these moments where I'm like, you know hey, um yeah where you can feel you know bits and pieces of of life getting better, but

00:42:58.85
Mike
Oh, absolutely. Yeah. You feel better. Yeah, exactly.

00:43:02.05
Bill
yeah yeah But yeah, I know. And that's the, for anyone to again out there that's not really familiar with the whole thing is that there, there are a lot of people that go through that, um you know, in, in early sobriety, it could last for a few weeks or a few months.

00:43:16.48
Bill
It could last for the first year, you know, that, you know, people are just literally like skipping through life.

00:43:16.82
Mike
right. Yeah.

00:43:21.74
Bill
And um it's like, everything is, everything is perfect.

00:43:22.40
Mike
Yeah.

00:43:25.14
Bill
Nothing goes wrong.

00:43:26.58
Mike
yeah

00:43:26.92
Bill
And, you know, the, the thing that is, and here's why I'm glad that I didn't get, you know, that I just got bits and pieces again.

00:43:33.91
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:43:34.84
Bill
sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly everything.

00:43:36.98
Mike
Right.

00:43:37.20
Bill
And I'm thankful for it. Everything in my sobriety and in my life, quite honestly, has happened in the sometimes slowly manner, which is what I need.

00:43:42.43
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:43:45.90
Mike
Yep.

00:43:46.01
Bill
Um, not what I want.

00:43:48.21
Mike
Right.

00:43:50.12
Bill
Um, but it's what I need because I will not appreciate it if it happens too quickly for me or if it's given to me.

00:43:55.26
Mike
Yeah, too easily. Right.

00:43:56.65
Bill
Yeah. I'll be just like, Oh fuck.

00:43:57.25
Mike
Yep.

00:43:58.14
Bill
Well, that was fucking easy.

00:43:59.25
Mike
Yeah.

00:43:59.69
Bill
Um,

00:43:59.75
Mike
Woo-hoo. Yeah.

00:44:00.92
Bill
but But the the problem is, is when people get into this pink cloud thing, people get disillusioned by the whole thing. And, you know, when I think when life hits and I could be wrong, but um do you do you think what that could be when people relapse?

00:44:07.53
Mike
Well, sure. Yeah. Hmm.

00:44:14.17
Mike
Oh, ah yeah, quite often. Sure.

00:44:16.17
Bill
Right.

00:44:16.55
Mike
You know, yeah. All of a sudden there's a goddamn bump in the road. No, well, fuck this shit. It doesn't work. Right.

00:44:25.71
Mike
I stubbed my toe. I'm going to go get fucked up.

00:44:30.80
Bill
Oh yeah. You know, our we you remember Seth. I mean, he unfortunately passed away.

00:44:33.71
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:44:34.82
Bill
um

00:44:35.15
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:44:36.25
Bill
God, when was that? That was a handful of years. Was that even longer? I don't even know when that was.

00:44:40.17
Mike
ah Three, four years ago.

00:44:40.39
Bill
um Yeah.

00:44:41.61
Mike
Yeah.

00:44:42.79
Bill
It's, it seems like longer, you know, but whatever, whatever it was, he was, um Seth was a good friend of ours and, you know, i was in the Keating center when we were, and he, he died when he was sober when he died.

00:44:44.50
Mike
Right.

00:44:48.25
Mike
Yep.

00:44:52.57
Bill
It was a work accident.

00:44:52.94
Mike
Yeah.

00:44:53.49
Bill
I, I don't think we even ever really heard.

00:44:53.83
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:44:55.96
Bill
He fell off of something, you know, but,

00:44:57.35
Mike
Yeah. Right. Mm hmm.

00:44:58.36
Bill
um It was a work accident, but he he was one there. He ah was driving someplace and his car broke down and he he got a flat tire and didn't have a spare, whatever it was.

00:45:09.94
Bill
He was at a gas station and he pulled in and those liquor store next door. And I mean, he literally um he got a flat tire.

00:45:14.13
Mike
Oh, uh-huh.

00:45:16.85
Bill
he lost his shit.

00:45:18.80
Mike
Yep.

00:45:19.10
Bill
went to the liquor store, bought a bunch of fucking booze, called a cab and went to a hotel and, you know, fucking relapsed, you know?

00:45:23.44
Mike
Yeah. Yep.

00:45:25.81
Bill
And that's a real goddamn story.

00:45:27.66
Mike
Yep.

00:45:28.64
Bill
And it's, it was a, wait, what? You got, what happened?

00:45:32.67
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:45:33.18
Bill
And you did what? I am not laughing at it, but it was, he, he laughed at him, know, ah later, but, uh,

00:45:38.25
Mike
Yeah, right.

00:45:40.12
Bill
You know, so hu don't know. i mean, the pink cloud, it's wonderful. If you're, if you're newly sober and and everything's going your way, it's fine. Just get ready to get fucked at some point.

00:45:46.33
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:45:47.86
Bill
And, you know, I mean, be prepared for it.

00:45:48.22
Mike
Yeah.

00:45:50.12
Bill
and I mean, that sincerely, um you know, yeah, it's, it's not all strawberries and orgasms as our friend, as our friend, I, he says, for eating strawberries and having an orgasm right now, more power to you.

00:45:51.29
Mike
Exactly.

00:45:55.80
Mike
Egg. Yes.

00:46:02.38
Bill
You know, um but I think we're both a fan of both those things.

00:46:02.71
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:46:05.77
Mike
Oh, absolutely. high edge who Yeah.

00:46:07.44
Bill
Love me a good strawberry to cut orgasm.

00:46:10.18
Mike
Any fucking day of the week.

00:46:13.62
Bill
Well, what do you think on that note on strawberries and orgasms? Should we take a quick break?

00:46:18.54
Mike
we should we'll we'll be right back with more uh fruit and feelings right after these words from our sponsors

00:46:18.63
Bill
yeah

00:46:33.94
Bill
All right, everyone. Welcome back. What'd you say? Fruit and feelings.

00:46:38.38
Mike
i did

00:46:41.08
Bill
I like that. Yeah. Fruit and feeling life isn't all fruit and feelings.

00:46:44.85
Mike
Really?

00:46:46.25
Bill
So just, just real quick on the sponsorship. Obviously I'll, I don't know what's running this, this, this week, but um American express has been running as our, as our sponsor ads. Yeah.

00:46:56.43
Mike
really

00:46:56.99
Bill
um Well, here here's the other thing. I can't, I can't, well, here's the other problem is I can't say that for everyone because I know that the ads that Spotify runs, it's all AI generated, it's whatever, and it's all based on individuals.

00:46:58.67
Mike
ah

00:47:08.82
Bill
So somebody that's listening may, you may be getting ads for, I don't know, an auto parts store and somebody's getting it for American Express and whatever, but it's like this American Express business card, you know?

00:47:14.12
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right?

00:47:20.06
Mike
Mm. Mm.

00:47:20.74
Bill
And I'm like, well, it's kind of an interesting ad. It's like, oh, you can get up to, seven million points, whatever, you know, if you do this and the, if you do this part is if you spend, you didn't say, if they're like, when do you spend $20,000 in your first three months, you get X number of points.

00:47:27.38
Mike
Mm.

00:47:37.44
Mike
o

00:47:38.97
Bill
And I'm like, Jesus Christ. Uh, if I spent $20,000 in the next three months, I, I might as well just go out and drink. Cause I can't,

00:47:48.94
Mike
Yeah, well, that's pretty much, you know, yeah.

00:47:51.66
Bill
Yeah, maybe that is what I did in in the next three months.

00:47:54.54
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:47:55.59
Bill
But um I don't know. And it's just the, just so everyone knows, i if it if it is based off of, um you know, whatever, again, what they're supposed to be targeting me at, um I'm not an American Express business guy, you know, so I don't know why they're targeting me with that ad.

00:48:05.49
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:48:10.17
Mike
No.

00:48:13.24
Bill
um But I don't know, I don't know how, who you know, who gets what ads or whatever. I asked Kathy one time and I can't remember what she told me. They were normal-ish ads, but It just kind of cracked me up of like first business card, $20,000. The fuck you marketing to American express.

00:48:25.83
Mike
Right. hey

00:48:26.78
Bill
There's fucking me.

00:48:28.55
Mike
Exactly. No, i I will tell you, I don't think I've ever gotten that ad in any of the podcasts I listen to.

00:48:29.84
Bill
But, um,

00:48:35.19
Mike
So there you go.

00:48:36.95
Bill
Well, and again, you know I'm trying to think about the, I used to spend a lot of time on LinkedIn. I don't anymore.

00:48:43.30
Mike
hmm.

00:48:43.76
Bill
um I used to spend a lot of time, you know, in in more professional environments, probably online. um I really don't anymore. So i I get all trails ads every once in a while.

00:48:51.33
Mike
Right.

00:48:54.92
Bill
um I'll get ads for, you know, normal, whatever, normal everyday shit, you know, like food ads or whatever.

00:49:00.17
Mike
Right.

00:49:00.34
Bill
It's like, hey, this fat fucker wants to eat. You know, he looks a he looks like he wants to eat something. Yeah. He's old. He wants he wants some ice cream in ah in a sandwich.

00:49:06.80
Mike
Right.

00:49:08.86
Bill
But I don't know what whatever they do. And Spotify does their thing and it's fine. I don't have to don't have to do much with it. So. um All right. So let's start. Number one.

00:49:18.93
Bill
Number one on my list. Unless you got anything. You get stuff you want to talk about. Oh, yeah.

00:49:21.93
Mike
I mean, but yeah, why we're recording on a Thursday night.

00:49:22.33
Bill
Your your baseball game.

00:49:25.67
Bill
Yeah. Yeah.

00:49:26.15
Mike
Yeah, yeah. Well, um there's an independent a baseball league called the Frontier League. And we have a team here in the Cleveland area out in Avon called the Lake Erie Crushers.

00:49:41.05
Mike
um Yeah, it's i mean, it's not even affiliated with Major League Baseball. It's not a single A team. It's it's its own thing. Anyway, that's cool. They got a little stadium out there. It's it's nice. And there's a sober house out in Lorain County called Road to Hope.

00:49:56.72
Mike
And they're having a fundraiser at the Lake Erie Crushers baseball team thing tomorrow. So, yes. So Chris and I are going to go out there and hang out with the drunks and junkies and watch some cool little baseball.

00:50:10.13
Bill
Nice. Yeah.

00:50:10.81
Mike
Yeah.

00:50:10.95
Bill
And that's, so is that, um is that the one that Melissa was selling tickets for?

00:50:14.80
Mike
Yeah.

00:50:15.44
Bill
That's what I thought. Okay.

00:50:16.24
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:50:16.59
Bill
Yeah. Our, our friend Melissa that was on however many episodes back, God, don't even know.

00:50:20.96
Mike
Right.

00:50:22.18
Bill
Look, look back, look up, look up Melissa.

00:50:22.31
Mike
Yeah. Right.

00:50:24.04
Bill
You'll, you'll find her, you'll find her someplace. But yeah, one of our one of our cool Cleveland friends, but yeah, see, and I didn't, I knew it was a baseball game and I, but I just couldn't, I couldn't remember what the, what the deal was.

00:50:25.82
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:50:29.29
Mike
Yep.

00:50:35.85
Bill
So, but that's kind of cool.

00:50:36.49
Mike
Right.

00:50:36.95
Bill
So you went last year too, if I remember.

00:50:38.21
Mike
I think it was the year before.

00:50:40.17
Bill
Oh, was it? OK.

00:50:40.69
Mike
Yeah, ah I think it was two years ago.

00:50:40.73
Bill
Right.

00:50:42.65
Mike
But anyway, it doesn't matter. But yes, I went once before, had a good time, and going to go do it again. Actually, I've been... ah The television coverage of the the Deans, the Guardians now, formerly the Indians here of Cleveland.

00:50:58.15
Bill
right

00:50:58.21
Mike
um Yeah, anyway, well, and it's been all-star break and blah, blah, blah. And they did a West Coast run and blah, blah. so um But the yeah the Lake Erie Crushers, ah they show them on but some little independent sports station here in Cleveland.

00:51:12.24
Mike
um So I'm watching a few games this year of that when there's nothing else on. Yeah. So I'm kind of looking forward to going out and catching some minor, minor, minor league baseball.

00:51:23.51
Bill
Right. Well, there is, what is the, oh yeah, yeah, the the Brewers, um one of their minor league teams said in Appleton that we've gone to a couple of, it's the Timber Rattlers.

00:51:32.86
Mike
Right.

00:51:36.08
Bill
And it's very family friendly.

00:51:36.19
Mike
Right.

00:51:38.24
Bill
I mean, they do, usually it's like, I've been there with, well, just with Kimmy.

00:51:38.52
Mike
Yeah.

00:51:42.67
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:51:42.96
Bill
When she was a kid, we went there once, once or twice, because obviously they lived up there. And then her place she's worked has done work events there a couple of times. um And it's nice.

00:51:53.58
Bill
I mean, again, that is, you know, affiliated with, you know, but.

00:51:55.79
Mike
Right, yeah, that's right. That's double a AA, AAA, single A, whatever.

00:51:59.14
Bill
Yeah.

00:51:59.98
Mike
Yeah, right. You know, like obviously the the Deans have, there's one out in Lake County for them, ah the Rubber Ducks down in Toledo, and then the AAA teams down in Columbus for the Indians.

00:52:12.12
Bill
Right.

00:52:12.80
Mike
But yeah, right. And then over in Toledo, there's, ah you know, the Detroit AA team, the Toledo Mudhens.

00:52:20.55
Bill
right yeah that's what uh wasn't clinger a big fan of that uh and from from mash if anyone knows what mash is these days but um yeah the fucking mud hens but um but i mean my my point with that is i'm guessing it's it's got to be the same type of atmosphere very family friendly and you know kind of ah you know just a nice you know family type of event right

00:52:23.84
Mike
Yeah, yelp. since yeah

00:52:35.55
Mike
Oh, yeah. Yeah, it is.

00:52:40.02
Mike
Absolutely. Yeah, and it's a it's nice little stadium. And, you know, so, yeah, it's, ah you know, there's not a bad seat in the house. And it's, yeah, it's fun. I'm looking forward to it.

00:52:49.14
Bill
Well, that's cool.

00:52:50.05
Mike
Yep.

00:52:50.41
Bill
That's cool. Well, good. Yeah. Get out there and you're getting out there and giving back because again, it's a, it's helping to support the sober house. So that's, that's always a good thing.

00:52:57.71
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:52:58.75
Bill
So that's cool.

00:52:58.83
Mike
Exactly.

00:53:00.39
Bill
Well, good.

00:53:00.73
Mike
Yeah. You know, and they'll have a 50-50 raffle and all that crap. And, you know, yeah. So it's fun.

00:53:06.50
Bill
Nice. And then, um so what is it? And I've got, I have my reminder set. I put away the sheet that I had with all of our early recordings. But so next week we're doing Thursday and then a week after Wednesday or whatever it is.

00:53:15.42
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:53:18.92
Bill
What do we got going on? Because you got other events coming up, right?

00:53:20.68
Mike
Uh...

00:53:22.31
Bill
Got something else coming up?

00:53:22.40
Mike
Right. ah Next week, next week, next is next week.

00:53:27.12
Bill
Hang on.

00:53:27.16
Mike
Shit.

00:53:27.29
Bill
I think I do have my sheet.

00:53:27.80
Mike
I know. yeah

00:53:28.63
Bill
Oh, yeah. I've got July. Yeah. July 31st is Thursday.

00:53:30.43
Mike
Pull up my calendar.

00:53:33.14
Bill
And we're doing Wednesday.

00:53:33.27
Mike
Yeah. So next week, we're regular next week.

00:53:33.62
Bill
Wednesday.

00:53:35.35
Mike
Actually, do we have a guest next week?

00:53:37.55
Bill
Um, no.

00:53:38.55
Mike
No. Okay. That's not till August. I can't remember. Yeah, so anyway, yes, next week should be regular Friday, but yeah. Then the following week, yes, is Chris and I's anniversary, our annual trip to Port Clinton, Ohio.

00:53:52.77
Bill
Oh yeah. Shit. Why was I thinking the next week was the 31st? Okay. You're right. i

00:53:55.85
Mike
Nope. Yep.

00:53:56.59
Bill
Well, of course you're right. You know, you're right.

00:53:58.51
Mike
Yeah. Nine.

00:53:59.29
Bill
I didn't have to tell you you're right, but, uh, yeah.

00:53:59.33
Mike
Yeah.

00:54:01.74
Bill
So your anniversary is coming up and that's what, again, three years remind me three, four years, three, two and a half.

00:54:03.48
Mike
yeah

00:54:10.32
Bill
I you know. I just say, I, I like, I like when you say that because it's a huge fucking thing.

00:54:13.90
Mike
and

00:54:15.65
Bill
I just think it's a huge deal.

00:54:15.90
Mike
Yeah.

00:54:16.85
Bill
And, uh, well, I, I think, I mean, I, I know you, well, I think you love her and I, I do.

00:54:17.42
Mike
It is.

00:54:22.14
Mike
i do.

00:54:24.06
Bill
i do too. She's loved by all, all family and loved by all family and friends also.

00:54:25.86
Mike
I tell her every day.

00:54:29.67
Bill
So yeah, she's a, she's a good shit.

00:54:29.67
Mike
Yep.

00:54:32.13
Bill
She's an absolutely good shit.

00:54:32.15
Mike
She is.

00:54:33.98
Bill
yeah Hi, Chris.

00:54:35.70
Mike
Right. Hi. Yes.

00:54:36.86
Bill
Yeah.

00:54:37.42
Mike
And after the anniversary, we'll probably have an announcement because I think we're going public with something you already know. So stay tuned, kids.

00:54:43.43
Bill
Right. All right. Cool. All right. Well, I won't, um I'm not going to try to tease that up anymore. Cause yeah, I do know. I do know. So, all right. So cool. Cause yeah, we got a couple of, you know, a couple of busy, busy things coming up. You know what I might actually try to ah try it. I'm going to try to go up to, I think I'm going to go up to Northern Wisconsin again. um The week of August 16th to the 23rd, that place at where I was last week or last week, last year.

00:55:07.47
Mike
hu

00:55:09.10
Bill
Um, and the only reason is I need to, I need to get up to Wisconsin, um, during the week before the end of August so I can get my personalized plates.

00:55:14.77
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:55:17.52
Bill
Um, you know, and i can't, there's, and I'm not shitting you for the entire month of August. There is not a place in the state of Wisconsin. It's not an apartment. I could probably get an apartment for a relatively decent price, but I can't take the chance of working in an apartment, um, for, you know, for a reasonable price, you know,

00:55:29.18
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:55:33.16
Mike
Right.

00:55:37.07
Mike
Yeah, right.

00:55:38.47
Bill
So, and then even with that, if I do that, you know, and it's nice, I message a guy to make sure he still had the right internet and blah, blah, blah. And I'm babysitting for Ali on the 23rd, you know, so I do the 16th through the 23rd, I'd be up in that area.

00:55:47.62
Mike
Cool.

00:55:50.91
Bill
um

00:55:50.92
Mike
Mm hmm.

00:55:51.55
Bill
But um I just, I still, i'd I'd have to drive an hour to get to the fucking DMV from there.

00:55:56.73
Mike
Right.

00:55:56.95
Bill
um But I just, like I gotta do it before the end of August or I'll, you know, I could, don't think I'll lose my plates, but I don't want to, you know, so.

00:56:02.10
Mike
Mm hmm. Right.

00:56:04.33
Bill
But yeah, so we got, we got, there's a whole bunch of shit coming up between now and only the end of August.

00:56:07.18
Mike
Oh, yeah. so

00:56:09.34
Bill
What will we do if we quit drinking?

00:56:10.71
Mike
ah I don't know, man.

00:56:10.98
Bill
So.

00:56:11.83
Mike
Right. It's going to be fucking boring. I won't. I'll just be sitting there with my thumb up my ass, not with anything to do at all. Yep.

00:56:18.49
Bill
Yeah, exactly. Okay, so let's get on to the list here. So this is from, again, I'm just going to start as ah as a general. i have no fucking idea when where any of this came from.

00:56:29.39
Bill
haven't looked over my list in a long time, so here we go. God grant me, today will think of ways I may still be keeping myself alone. I will talk with my sponsor a group about how I can improve, how I can move deeper into the fellowship.

00:56:43.40
Bill
Now, the question that I had on this, do you think since we spend a lot of time alone,

00:56:48.44
Mike
listen

00:56:48.74
Bill
A lot of time for whatever.

00:56:50.84
Mike
Right.

00:56:50.88
Bill
If we spend a lot of time alone, that we are not deep in the fellowship.

00:56:52.85
Mike
Yes.

00:56:55.90
Mike
um I mean, certainly not as deep as I used to be. oh you know, but I'm, well, I mean, you know, I go to a meeting every week, my home group. Yeah.

00:57:05.41
Bill
Yes. Yeah. Like I you said that. I go to you do.

00:57:08.15
Mike
Well, yeah, right.

00:57:09.81
Bill
No, you do. Yeah.

00:57:11.09
Mike
You know, but I mean, I don't hang out at the Rock anymore um because I'm not doing group there anymore.

00:57:14.87
Bill
Right.

00:57:16.34
Mike
And, you know, I mean, the fundraisers and I'm still on the advisory board. So I'm part of that and whatever, you know. um But yeah, I'm not as deep in the fellowship as I used to be. um And that's I'm OK with that.

00:57:29.55
Bill
Right.

00:57:29.55
Mike
You know, I don't need to be. I was was actually talking with a home group member. It's a guy who's coming up on his first year.

00:57:36.26
Bill
Nice.

00:57:36.50
Mike
um Yeah, right. And, ah you know, he's ah he's ah another home group member, sponsee, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, you know, he was talking about ah sponsoring and he's, you know, because it's coming up on a year and he's like, I'm kind of, I don't know. And, um you know.

00:57:53.74
Mike
I'm just talking to him and say, hey, man, look, you know, I read somewhere, you know, the usual stuff, you know, we can't go dragging people off bar stools and whatever. When it's time, somebody will come up to you and ask you and all you got to do is be willing and open to help another drunk.

00:58:08.96
Mike
That's all you got to worry about.

00:58:10.69
Bill
Right.

00:58:10.77
Mike
And yeah, you know, so I mean, I'm there, um you know, but I'm not.

00:58:18.40
Bill
Right.

00:58:18.49
Mike
you know, I'm not in a fucking church basement five, six days a week and I don't fucking want to be.

00:58:23.64
Bill
Right.

00:58:24.03
Mike
you know, I've said it plenty of times. That's not what I got sober for. You know, did I need to be there, you know, all the time? First four five, six years? Sure. Absolutely. Do I need to today? No, I don't, thankfully.

00:58:39.40
Mike
ah But I'm certainly available. um You know, people, people know me. um I'm not trying to hide out anywhere. You know, yeah.

00:58:47.15
Bill
Right.

00:58:48.87
Mike
You know, somebody wants to find me, they can find me.

00:58:51.39
Bill
right

00:58:51.38
Mike
And so come find me.

00:58:53.80
Bill
Right. Well, and and that's the thing. And, you know, I laughed when you said that I go to a meeting.

00:58:59.09
Mike
yeah

00:58:59.35
Bill
um But, you know, here's here's the thing. And it'd be a different story if um if I was trying to hide the fact that I don't, you know, and and I'm not, you know, and um I would feel uncomfortable with that with that type of statement if I was trying to, you know, hide it.

00:59:06.22
Mike
Right. oh yeah.

00:59:13.11
Mike
I know. Yeah, right. That's why that's why i didn't have a problem saying it that way.

00:59:17.38
Bill
Right. But you but you know what? And the same thing when. When I started listening the podcast, when I was doing doing that whole thing, and then obviously which led us into this, is that I i felt a void.

00:59:23.27
Mike
Mm-hmm.

00:59:30.51
Bill
and i I didn't realize at the time, but then but then I did. I'm like, i I feel like I'm missing something. And you know, quite honestly, um I've been starting to have that same feeling again.

00:59:41.42
Bill
You know, um it's not a bad one, but it's just one of those things that every probably last two, three places I've traveled to, ah which I haven't traveled as much over the last you know few months as I was for a while.

00:59:41.52
Mike
Uh-huh.

00:59:51.97
Mike
Right. Uh-huh.

00:59:53.06
Bill
um But I've been looking at the meeting finder just and like, yeah you know, in case I want to hit a meeting type of thing.

00:59:57.84
Mike
Yeah.

00:59:58.48
Bill
Um, you know, so don't be sad. I'm going to, not you, not that anyone would be surprised.

01:00:03.33
Mike
Right.

01:00:03.46
Bill
Nobody fucking cares, so but, um, I think, or least I, I wouldn't be surprised myself if I, if I ended up, you know, starting to get back into every once in a while, if not regular, whatever.

01:00:04.85
Mike
Right.

01:00:14.21
Bill
Um, cause the same thing, I, I feel like it, it's, I can't, it's nothing I can put my finger on.

01:00:19.21
Mike
Right.

01:00:19.80
Bill
You know, am I, am I not around enough people? Am I not doing this? Am I not doing that? Maybe it has nothing to do with sobriety, you know, but it just this feeling where I'm like, I feel like a little bit of something is missing and it's not like, Oh, I think I need more money or I want to do this.

01:00:33.43
Mike
Right.

01:00:33.78
Bill
It's not that I don't, it's not stuff, you know? um so i don't know, you know what mean? Maybe, um, maybe I will. And I looked even around here and then, uh, then I'm like, you know, here's a weird part, weird side note.

01:00:44.35
Bill
Um, okay. You know that Kentucky, lot of mullets out of pickup trucks, whatever.

01:00:47.76
Mike
huh.

01:00:48.47
Bill
there's a lot of fucking Confederate flags around here.

01:00:50.69
Mike
Oh yeah. Right.

01:00:51.64
Bill
And I'm like, that that was my second thought. I'm like, I don't need to go to a meeting with people who are just have a completely different mindset for me. Hey, no offense. We're all there for the same reason, but, um, and hopefully that, but I'm like, I can't, I,

01:01:00.19
Mike
right

01:01:02.89
Mike
Come on, man. It's not hate. It's history. It's heritage.

01:01:06.57
Bill
I, you know, Hey, you know what, again, you do we whatever people want to do. They do their own thing. I just, but seriously, that was it. That was a concern. Not that that would stop me from going to meetings.

01:01:16.73
Bill
I could always be glue.

01:01:16.88
Mike
Right.

01:01:17.61
Bill
I need to use the restroom and then never come back.

01:01:19.67
Mike
yeah

01:01:20.00
Bill
Um, but, um, but yeah, you know, from, from a fellowship standpoint, this is a, this is a huge thing for me, this podcast. And in as stupid as it may, may seem, you know, the, um,

01:01:31.47
Bill
Instagram, the the fact that I, you know, that the reading that I post, even though it's a little thing, you know, all the fucking around that we do on on Instagram or that I do, it's really important for me to make sure that I i post a reading and something that matters, you know, and I think if it matters to me, um that's one thing, but I try to think how is this going to play, not play, but you know what i mean?

01:01:38.92
Mike
Okay.

01:01:45.15
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:01:51.85
Bill
How's this going to read to everyone else?

01:01:52.04
Mike
Yeah.

01:01:53.01
Bill
I want it to hit right with other people.

01:01:54.76
Mike
Sure.

01:01:55.37
Bill
you know So, I mean, that's part of me, I guess, trying to be engaged. But, you know, to your exact point, um I am not at all, you know, deep into the fellowship.

01:02:04.83
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:02:05.09
Bill
But here's the thing, and I'm glad you said that because that's true. Like when um when we went to the conference, you know, ah and Mara wanted us to speak at the conference, she knew where to fucking find us.

01:02:12.05
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right.

01:02:14.09
Bill
She asked us.

01:02:14.44
Mike
Right. Yeah.

01:02:15.01
Bill
yeah You know, and if if somebody is like, ah hey, you know, and it's happened when I've come out to Cleveland over the years.

01:02:21.81
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:02:22.01
Bill
I, you know, I just saw on Facebook you're in town. I need somebody to lead for me.

01:02:25.55
Mike
Right.

01:02:25.71
Bill
um You know, I've done it. You know, I've the only time I have it is when we've had plans.

01:02:27.58
Mike
Yeah.

01:02:29.51
Bill
I'm like, oh, fuck, we're going here with family. I can't.

01:02:31.42
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right.

01:02:32.84
Bill
So same deal. You know, people know where to find me. I mean, that's I'm not I'm not hiding and I'm not hard to find. So.

01:02:37.95
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:02:38.81
Bill
Okay. All right, then.

01:02:39.95
Mike
Yeah.

01:02:40.10
Bill
So you're you're better than me. Check that box.

01:02:41.77
Mike
Fine. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

01:02:44.17
Bill
You're better than me today. Fine.

01:02:46.25
Mike
five

01:02:47.83
Bill
all right. so next one. um God grant me was talking about all the things that go on in a day that could drive us nuts or take away from our peace and serenity.

01:02:57.40
Mike
ahha

01:02:57.50
Bill
Yeah, we've kind of we've talked about these things before.

01:03:00.24
Mike
ah huh

01:03:00.67
Bill
um And I think this was my own commentary because i said, I'm not saying that we are immune to outside influences, but when ah when do you think you started being able to handle a bunch of outside things coming at you all at once without feeling overwhelmed?

01:03:15.66
Bill
I think we've talked about that, but maybe not even that specifically. um But when do you think that you you could? i mean, when we first got sober before, all again, all this life shit coming at you, didn you weren't freaking out about it.

01:03:27.20
Mike
Right. um I'll let you know.

01:03:32.40
Bill
and See, i would accept I would accept that as an answer. Okay.

01:03:35.44
Mike
Right. No, um i I clearly, you know, don't, there's no moment in time. um ah do know that, ah you know, certainly things don't get to me the way they used to. um I have, you know, i I can handle things that I certainly couldn't handle before Yeah.

01:03:56.13
Mike
Yeah, I don't know. yeah and you know Sometimes so shit hits and I'm like, okay, fuck. um I got to step aside and chill out for a minute and focus on something else because this is too much for me right now um which is i guess kind of the answer to it you know oh shit that's too much it's overwhelming it's it's uh one of those things i cannot change so i will have the serenity to get the fuck away from it for a minute yeah and um yeah i don't know is that an answer

01:04:11.52
Bill
Right.

01:04:24.32
Bill
Right.

01:04:30.73
Bill
It is. it it is. Yeah, I mean, I think your first answer literally was probably, you know, as that was probably the best answer.

01:04:34.96
Mike
Yeah, well, sure. Yeah, of course.

01:04:36.97
Bill
but

01:04:37.15
Mike
Yeah, I'll let you know when it happens.

01:04:39.18
Bill
yeah But you know what? In in thinking about it, i was just thinking time frame. Because when, you know, I mean, when we... I don't know, like, especially when you and I first got into, you know, the first place we were living three-quarter house.

01:04:49.85
Bill
And mean, a three-quarter house, especially, I mean, we had a little bit of stress from all the, you know, fucking knobs that were in and out of there, but, um and having that responsibility, but it wasn't terrible, you know?

01:04:55.98
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:04:59.92
Mike
Right.

01:05:00.57
Bill
um But I think the, the first time that I probably even closely got to the point where I'm like, okay, now I, now I got some shit coming at me. um Not necessarily a bad way, but when I started working for that company at Fairlawn,

01:05:12.46
Bill
Um, because I was, i was a supervisor and I was a trainer. So now I had, I had to be responsible for other people, you know?

01:05:18.57
Mike
ahha Yeah,

01:05:19.49
Bill
And it was like, you know, had this whole, at that point you figure I was, uh, I started there there iss a year, I think I was a year and a half sober when, when I started there roughly in that area.

01:05:31.51
Bill
Yeah, it would have been October of, yeah, October 20, or not 20. Yeah, but I think so. it was that October, that following year, because was at the place in, what do you call it, Rocky River for a year.

01:05:38.42
Mike
Right.

01:05:42.07
Bill
um So anyhow, it was probably that first time that I had, you know, like work responsibilities again, rather than just having to show up and like punch a clock.

01:05:42.08
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:05:49.28
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:05:49.62
Bill
Um, but I think that, uh, I don't know. i mean, you know, again, these little things along the way, same thing, you know, we were just talking about that, you know, I mean, i don't know what, am what am I prepared for now?

01:06:00.48
Bill
I, I think I'm prepared for stuff, but, um, I'm not prepared for what I'm not prepared for.

01:06:02.80
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:06:05.20
Bill
it

01:06:05.56
Mike
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

01:06:07.35
Bill
i not prepared for what I don't know, you know, that I've never dealt with before.

01:06:09.56
Mike
Mm-hmm. Right.

01:06:11.73
Bill
And, you know, things that, you know, freaked me out 10 years ago. I'm like, eh, because, uh,

01:06:16.45
Mike
Yeah, exactly. But, you know, ah yeah, you said you're not prepared, but I mean, we kind of are because we have, you know, you know, if something hits us that we don't know what the fuck to do, we know what to do with that today.

01:06:23.58
Bill
Right.

01:06:30.10
Bill
Right.

01:06:30.63
Mike
Yeah, we know to go to somebody else. Shit, I can't handle this. I better get some help. And yeah, you know, just like, you know, I can't handle alcohol. I guess I better get some help. I can't handle drugs. can't.

01:06:42.98
Mike
Guess I better get some help, you know, outside. we We know to do that. So, I mean, in sense, we are prepared for what we're not prepared for, which is kind of nice.

01:06:51.56
Bill
Yeah. Yeah. And I guess, ah you know, the the way I just kind of thought about that in my head is I've got I've got a general solution for any specific problem that comes up.

01:06:58.95
Mike
Right. Yeah, exactly.

01:07:02.14
Bill
Even if I don't know what the thing is, I do. Yeah, you're right. I mean, we've been we've been taught that one one way or the other, we know how to deal with it. Maybe not like not exactly that that issue.

01:07:09.11
Mike
Yeah.

01:07:11.39
Bill
But I mean, fuck, it's just putting a different just the same thing in a different goddamn color, you know.

01:07:15.46
Mike
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Right. and And we know that we don't have to get loaded over whatever the fuck comes along.

01:07:21.07
Bill
but Right. That is for, that is for goddamn sure.

01:07:26.19
Mike
Yeah. there's some preparation right there. Preparation H.

01:07:32.93
Bill
literally what was just running across my head.

01:07:34.64
Mike
Of course.

01:07:37.76
Bill
All right. So next one from 24 hours a day, aa members will tell you that they can look back and clearly see what they um see that they were way out of control long before they finally admitted it.

01:07:50.38
Bill
um Do you and I that but in my note here was when was that time for you when you look back and when there was a time when you could finally admit that there was that you were out of control?

01:08:01.83
Mike
I mean, well, you know, ah it's in my story. and talk I mean, you know, Christ, I was 30 years old and I put myself into rehab. um yeah yeah Yeah.

01:08:10.07
Bill
hit Right. Right.

01:08:11.67
Mike
And, you know, that was a couple of years after i probably should have. um So I figure, you know, hell. I mean, yes, looking back, I was out of fucking control in my early 20s.

01:08:23.45
Mike
oh And I just got worse.

01:08:25.44
Bill
right

01:08:25.88
Mike
oh Yeah. yeah Control. Wait a minute. When was I in control? I mean, really looking back at it, I was never in control ever.

01:08:36.35
Bill
Right, right. Well, and and I know for a fact that I brought it up on here. I mean, I never, you know, i well, I never tried to do it until until I had to, um you know, as far as getting sober.

01:08:44.09
Mike
Right.

01:08:45.71
Bill
But I know for a fact, right, I mean, now, I mean, after I got sober, I knew is that, I mean, when I got my DUI, which was May of 94, that was the time.

01:08:55.77
Bill
I mean, if there would have been a time to fucking do something about it.

01:08:58.10
Mike
a

01:08:58.87
Bill
Because, I mean, my my entire fucking life was falling apart. You know, i just split up and, you know, my daughter, my daughter was young. i My marriage had failed. um Work was work was probably the only thing I was a couple of years into that job at it federated.

01:09:12.63
Bill
and I was keeping that under control.

01:09:14.48
Mike
Right.

01:09:15.53
Bill
I wasn't fucking that up. I actually buried myself in that in that job for, you know, a couple of years after after my divorce.

01:09:18.39
Mike
Yeah, of course. Uh-huh.

01:09:22.84
Bill
Um, you know, and it did, I mean, ultimately helped my, obviously my job and my career, but, um, I just hid there, you know? Um, but yeah, I mean, I, there was never, there was never a time that I looked at looking back now, I could see all those moments, you know, again, when I, when I should have done something about it, but, uh, I don't know, but yeah, it just says, you know, I just think that's kind of funny that, you know, they Kelly, they could look back, you know, look back and clearly see, you know, that they were out of control before they admitted it.

01:09:29.14
Mike
Yeah.

01:09:35.73
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:09:48.10
Mike
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

01:09:49.17
Bill
I mean, yeah, I mean, that's a, it's like, okay, sure.

01:09:50.96
Mike
I don't know.

01:09:51.27
Bill
Yeah. Duh.

01:09:52.08
Mike
Yeah, right. 16, 15. Yeah. sixteen fifteen

01:09:56.12
Bill
yeah well i mean i i mean fuck i got i got arrested when i was you know 17 years old you know for underage drinking as my dad put it i hid because i uh think i told you that i called i called him because i got uh was said it's our last time high school we got we partied whatever and a buddy of mine were

01:10:00.66
Mike
Right.

01:10:13.79
Mike
Yeah.

01:10:14.52
Bill
walking through when it was a curfewed area and we didn't know. We had never even thought about what time it was. But after all said and done, I mean, I remember calling my dad and, you know, i told him what happened. I mean, he was sober, you know, at the time.

01:10:25.71
Mike
Right.

01:10:25.91
Bill
And all he all he did was fucking laugh.

01:10:26.33
Mike
Right.

01:10:27.79
Bill
And he said, he goes, so he goes, you got picked up for drunken walking.

01:10:31.42
Mike
Yes. Yes.

01:10:31.98
Bill
And I said, yeah, I sure did. I sure did.

01:10:33.76
Mike
ah huh

01:10:36.41
Bill
All right. So next one from Keep It Simple. Keep it simple. Okay. Let me start over.

01:10:44.25
Mike
yes

01:10:44.30
Bill
The next one from Keep It Simple. I was talking about shortcomings versus good qualities. Is it easy for you? And this is my question. This is back when I didn't do parentheses. Hang on.

01:10:55.17
Bill
These are my parentheses. Is it easy for you to list both your shortcomings and good qualities, or do you think it's easier, um you know, or more difficult for one or the other?

01:11:06.91
Bill
Like if if I said right now that, you know, list down the things you just think you're really good at or things that, eh, you're a little short on that one.

01:11:12.93
Mike
right um yeah shortcomings absolutely yeah you know it's way easier to pick out my faults and well and that comes from you know trying to be humble and uh you know ah smash that ego and all that good stuff um

01:11:13.02
Bill
um Is there anyone that's easier?

01:11:31.18
Mike
yeah, it's, it's tough for me now to, you know, yeah, back before, um yeah, it was really easy to point out my fucking stellar qualities. Hey, look how great I am. Um, cause yeah, I didn't want to look at the ah shitty stuff. Um, yeah, it's, it's definitely easier to look at the shitty stuff.

01:11:51.32
Mike
Um, because that's the training, that's the, the program. Um, Yeah, you know, um ah neither one of them are fucking easy. ah Just the the tough one, the bad stuff, I think, is a little easier just because of the way we've been taught to look at ourselves.

01:12:10.66
Mike
You know, we're not supposed to look at how fucking great I am.

01:12:11.00
Bill
Right.

01:12:13.80
Mike
You know, the good stuff. Yes, I know there's good. I have good qualities and that's wonderful, but. I'm not going to dwell on those. I'm not going to dwell too much on the bad stuff either other than to go, yeah, I probably need to do something about that and then proceed to try to do something about that.

01:12:30.16
Bill
Right. Yeah. And that's, ah i mean, that was my exact thought. It it is far easier for me. um I don't necessarily want to be criticized by somebody else, um except if it, you know, again, somebody like you, because I know you'd be doing it in the right way.

01:12:38.89
Mike
No.

01:12:43.89
Bill
You know, you'd be doing it, you know, to try to help me, not hurt me type of thing.

01:12:44.20
Mike
Right.

01:12:47.07
Bill
But, um,

01:12:47.22
Mike
Yeah.

01:12:48.73
Bill
ah you know It is. it to to look at you know Again, we talk about character defects. One of the things we work on, I talk about the fact that I've got to try to pick my pick myself up out of you know whatever fucking hole I feel like I live in on a daily basis.

01:12:59.66
Mike
say

01:13:01.44
Bill
and Which, i again, it sounds so stupid when I say that. because if I feel like I'm saying that I'm living in a you know ah life of depression, which I'm not.

01:13:08.29
Mike
Right.

01:13:08.53
Bill
i just I think that just, again, my my nature is to be...

01:13:11.46
Mike
z

01:13:12.86
Bill
an overly negative.

01:13:12.89
Mike
Yeah, your default setting. Yeah.

01:13:14.60
Bill
Yeah. My default setting is being overly negative, cynical, critical, um, and mainly of myself, but also people around me and, you know, and egotistical and narcissistic.

01:13:16.92
Mike
Uh-huh. Yep.

01:13:20.92
Mike
Of course. Yeah.

01:13:24.09
Bill
And, you know, so I, I need to fight and work, you know, on those things. And I'm sometimes a minute by minute basis last, last night, Arnie, I had no fucking idea what I, what I was watching on TV.

01:13:30.10
Mike
Yeah.

01:13:35.26
Bill
No idea whatsoever. Um, And I got up and I think I got up either to grab a soda or do whatever. And I'm walking to the im walking into the fridge, which is literally right in here. It's not like i had to walk across the goddamn house or anything like that.

01:13:48.24
Bill
But I was, whatever I was watching, I was fucking laughing at it. And I'm like, like you know what? I'm like, because things have been, again, back to the money thing, you know, whatever. Things a little rough, you know?

01:13:55.20
Mike
ahha

01:13:56.50
Bill
um i didn't have bad day at work or anything like that, but still. But I was just kind of laughing at something. i'm like, like, God damn it. I'm like, I'm in a really good fucking mood right now. You know, I'm like, I'm not going to question it. I'm just going to enjoy this moment. I have no fucking idea why I'm in a great mood right at this moment, but I'm going to enjoy it.

01:14:12.85
Bill
And I sat back down and I fucking enjoyed myself.

01:14:15.08
Mike
Good.

01:14:15.13
Bill
You know, but it is, I think exactly what you said is the fact that we've been, and I like the way you put that we've been trained and we've been conditioned in and all those things that we need to be on guard for this, for these negative things, you know, not because we need to dwell on them, like you said, but, um, or that you don't need to dwell on them like you said, but to, to seriously, to defend ourselves from that behavior, you know?

01:14:30.62
Mike
Yeah.

01:14:33.42
Mike
Right.

01:14:40.95
Mike
Right. Defend ourselves from ourselves. Yes.

01:14:44.59
Bill
I don't need to, I can be in an empty fucking room.

01:14:44.77
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

01:14:48.93
Bill
I can have a conversation. I can have a fight.

01:14:52.25
Mike
yes

01:14:52.65
Bill
I can have joy. i can have happiness. I can have fucking sadness and anger. And it's just me. And I can i can deal with it.

01:14:58.80
Mike
ye this

01:15:01.35
Bill
yeah That's funny. Defending ourselves from ourselves. And it's fucking true.

01:15:07.02
Mike
yeah

01:15:07.97
Bill
All right. um God grant me. What did I do today that was worthwhile? Did I act caring, loving, or in a loving way to any person? Are there any mistakes that I would like to fix tomorrow? I will write down my thoughts.

01:15:22.56
Bill
Now I have done step 10. You know, this is kind of funny because I didn't read this beforehand. I'm like, this is just a step 10 thing. So I don't think anything we need to talk about.

01:15:27.51
Mike
Yeah.

01:15:29.68
Bill
Correct.

01:15:30.38
Mike
Yeah. Yeah. Do a fucking step 10 every day. Yeah.

01:15:34.23
Bill
But, ah and again, you know, that's, that's, that was the first dud that I've had so far. So I think, well, I'll accept that.

01:15:38.30
Mike
yeah All right.

01:15:40.21
Bill
Will you accept that for, is it okay, Mike?

01:15:41.34
Mike
I, it's, it's all right. You're good enough. You're smart enough. And gosh, darn it. People like you.

01:15:47.29
Bill
Dribble well, you do whatever. I got Michael Jordan. Okay. From Touchstone. Touchstones. ah Today i will.

01:15:55.35
Mike
Touchstones.

01:15:56.87
Bill
Touchstones.

01:15:56.89
Mike
That's, did you say touch tones?

01:16:00.49
Bill
Touchstone. Touchstones.

01:16:02.28
Mike
Okay. Sounded like tones.

01:16:03.61
Bill
Touch.

01:16:04.18
Mike
Sounded like you were hitting your phone.

01:16:08.11
Bill
Touchstone. No. Touchstones.

01:16:10.94
Mike
Ah,

01:16:13.90
Bill
With an S.

01:16:15.51
Mike
right.

01:16:16.67
Bill
Okay. from From that touch book.

01:16:19.55
Mike
Right.

01:16:19.96
Bill
um

01:16:20.31
Mike
Use your finger.

01:16:20.51
Bill
Today. i think I'll use my entire hand.

01:16:26.10
Mike
i

01:16:26.20
Bill
Hello. um All right.

01:16:28.49
Mike
Hmm.

01:16:29.33
Bill
Today i will be i will first be honest with myself about angry feelings. Then i will find respectful ways to express them. ooh ah In my parentheses, ah how can we express anger respectfully and how has that changed since we first got sober? So first part, um anger, how can you express it respectfully?

01:16:51.29
Mike
I don't know. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

01:16:54.43
Bill
h here

01:16:57.51
Mike
um

01:17:01.16
Bill
Pardon me, sir. I'm unhappy with your actions.

01:17:03.34
Mike
yeah exactly

01:17:04.32
Bill
Yeah.

01:17:05.08
Mike
ah

01:17:07.35
Mike
um a I mean, right. I don't know. I don't have a lot of anger anymore. um And we've discussed plenty of times anger is fear-based.

01:17:15.45
Bill
Right.

01:17:18.67
Mike
So what the fuck am I afraid of? That's the first thing. That's the easiest thing to do. Well, not easy, but the simplest thing to do is, okay, I'm angry.

01:17:26.82
Bill
Right.

01:17:28.35
Mike
What am I afraid of? oh And then, you know, go from there. um Yeah. And I don't. get angry at people really anymore.

01:17:40.08
Mike
um you know, people annoy me, people do stupid things around me that I, that again, annoy me. all but what am I going to do? I realize I have no control.

01:17:50.25
Bill
Yeah.

01:17:51.94
Mike
I realize, you know, back to let him whirl, you know, acceptance, this guy is an asshole. Um, he annoys me, his actions, his behaviors, um, piss me off because i don't ah I don't agree with them. Hey, I think I'll turn around and walk away.

01:18:08.19
Mike
That's exactly what I do. So yeah, i and I'm not going to waste my time trying to express myself in a respectful and caring way of why he's a fucking tool.

01:18:16.42
Bill
yeah

01:18:19.53
Mike
ah He's a fucking tool. There's nothing I can do about it. I am not going to be around this tool anymore.

01:18:25.99
Bill
Right.

01:18:26.79
Mike
Yep.

01:18:27.60
Bill
Yeah. And that's, uh, you know, when I, when I thought about that too, I mean, well, two things, the only thing I thought about is if, um, if somebody had, you know, again, somebody that I, that I care about, if somebody said something that was, that was hurtful, you know, um, you know, or, or said something that was just, you know, kind of like, well, that's, that was, that was un-fucking-necessary, you know, that sort of thing.

01:18:37.02
Mike
Hmm.

01:18:39.92
Mike
Yeah.

01:18:45.89
Mike
Right.

01:18:46.98
Bill
And, you know, it's, it would probably make me mad to begin with, but, um, you know, I think it'd be one of those circumstances where, uh, you know, how would I, and I've done it before. There's been a couple of people in my life where, if you know, whatever has happened, you know, I try to have a conversation with somebody.

01:18:58.19
Mike
Hmm.

01:19:01.94
Bill
I'm like, you know what, I'm not trying to make a big deal out of this, but, um, you know, that was unnecessary or that, that wasn't, wasn't very kind, you know, or whatever it is.

01:19:04.79
Mike
Yeah.

01:19:09.28
Mike
Yeah.

01:19:10.19
Bill
And sometimes, I mean, if it's, if it's one of those things where if I don't know how to react, um, I've said things with, You know, a little bit of sarcasm because I don't know how else to, I don't know how else to do it, you know, without, you know, fucking blowing up on somebody, which I don't want to do.

01:19:19.55
Mike
sir Right.

01:19:25.45
Mike
Yeah, Exactly.

01:19:26.24
Bill
You know, and not that I've even felt like blowing up on somebody. I don't know. But, yeah.

01:19:30.10
Mike
yeah, well, I mean, and that brings us back to who do we choose to spend our time with?

01:19:35.21
Bill
Right. Yeah.

01:19:35.96
Mike
And I mean, you know, I choose not to spend time with people that are going to be that, that are that way, you know? Um, I mean, the people in my life, I don't know who the fuck am I going to get pissed at?

01:19:48.98
Bill
Right.

01:19:49.06
Mike
and If, if, ah if I need to get pissed at them or if they're causing me to become angry, I'm allowing myself to be angry because of their behavior. um What the fuck are they doing in my life? Why am I around them?

01:20:02.18
Mike
um Thankfully, ah you know, the people in my life today, nobody pisses me off because I want to be around people that piss me off.

01:20:09.64
Bill
Right.

01:20:10.25
Mike
Yeah.

01:20:11.12
Bill
Yeah. And that's, ah i again, I was trying to think of, you know, the the last time that I even had, you know, somebody say a comment like that.

01:20:15.96
Mike
Right.

01:20:17.57
Bill
I mean, I, i this, ah my default sometimes is mom and she wasn't, it was just the way that she was, you know, a completely different generation, you know?

01:20:17.87
Mike
Yeah.

01:20:22.38
Mike
Mm hmm.

01:20:25.06
Mike
Right.

01:20:25.79
Bill
And there was a article that I saw at I didn't even save it. I was just fucking laughing at it, but it said, uh, things that boomers say that um are they think are compliments but are actually insults.

01:20:33.96
Mike
Right? Mm-hmm. Right. Mm-hmm.

01:20:36.99
Mike
Right.

01:20:37.18
Bill
And they were just kind of funny, like somebody saying, oh, you've lost weight.

01:20:37.46
Mike
Sure.

01:20:39.58
Bill
You look so much better now or that sort of thing. And you've got such a pretty face. Why are you still single? Whatever it is.

01:20:44.32
Mike
Yeah.

01:20:44.62
Bill
you know You know, just think things like that where – You know, where I'm like and like, yeah, it's just, it is. It's a generational thing that there would, a lot of times it would be shit that mom said and she wasn't trying to be mean.

01:20:52.37
Mike
right

01:20:56.47
Mike
right

01:20:56.65
Bill
um and She had her way about her where maybe she was trying to be mean, but in other cases it was just like, well, that's, that wasn't very nice.

01:20:58.37
Mike
sure and she yeah

01:21:03.23
Bill
I didn't come across the right way type of thing.

01:21:04.82
Mike
aha

01:21:05.02
Bill
But, but I mean, yeah, to, to your exact point is um yeah, I don't, I don't want to be around people that are, and I choose, you know, not to be around people that I don't need,

01:21:14.24
Mike
Yes.

01:21:18.45
Bill
Go back to what we were talking about way, way the beginning of this. You know, um the byproduct of what we do is is happiness. The things that we talked about what we wanted.

01:21:24.29
Mike
Yeah.

01:21:26.34
Bill
We wanted happiness. We wanted a peace. We wanted serenity. You know, so why in the fuck?

01:21:31.97
Mike
Yeah.

01:21:32.46
Bill
To your point, would would we would we put those those kind of people in our lives, right?

01:21:33.49
Mike
yeah

01:21:36.67
Mike
I wouldn't. Don't. Right.

01:21:39.26
Bill
Yes, we would not, and I will not.

01:21:39.67
Mike
Right.

01:21:41.41
Bill
i won't.

01:21:41.83
Mike
Right. It is.

01:21:43.08
Bill
just watched The Breakfast Club recently. That was it was from my Breakfast Club.

01:21:44.89
Mike
ah

01:21:47.12
Bill
I will not, and I wouldn't. I won't.

01:21:48.94
Mike
right

01:21:49.40
Bill
Talking about ignoring somebody when they get back in school. You are so conceited, Claire. You're so conceited. All right.

01:22:00.71
Bill
Let's do one more. It's getting, it's getting late in the evening. So, all right.

01:22:03.35
Mike
it is

01:22:04.74
Bill
From God grant me. um It was talking about step four and the statement was, ah I will talk to my sponsor about something I learned in step four. Was there, or was there a specific thing that you learned from doing step four?

01:22:17.12
Bill
And this might, this we've talked about this before, I think, but anything you want to dive into or no, anything specific you think you learned from step four?

01:22:20.29
Mike
yeah

01:22:24.56
Mike
um That I'm completely selfish and self-centered and I needed to do something about that.

01:22:31.40
Bill
Yeah. Yep.

01:22:32.13
Mike
Yeah, that's that's what I learned from my step four.

01:22:32.85
Bill
hi

01:22:35.22
Bill
Yeah. I, I, I learned that, uh, you know, I can, I can cram for a test and then feel really small the next day when, when I read it out loud to a, to a, you know, a four foot 11 priest.

01:22:44.95
Mike
ha ha ha ha.

01:22:45.03
Bill
Yeah.

01:22:47.88
Bill
But in all seriousness, we've talked about it before, man, that little fucker, man, i he literally um you know seemed like he, number one, didn't seem like he was listening, didn't seem like he gave a fuck.

01:22:57.38
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:22:58.45
Bill
But um at the end, he recapped everything that I said in a very nice and concise way, gave me direction to, again, to this day, i have no fucking idea what he said, um but I came out of there feeling really good.

01:22:58.74
Mike
Yep.

01:23:01.92
Mike
Uh-huh. Yep.

01:23:08.24
Mike
Yep. There's the door.

01:23:11.49
Bill
Yeah. I mean, I, but seriously, I can't, I remember coming out of there feeling really good, you know, and, uh, and based on, um, you know, what he said to me, you know, and having just being able to get the shit off my chest and being heard by somebody, you know?

01:23:14.98
Mike
Yeah.

01:23:19.57
Mike
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

01:23:23.55
Mike
Yep.

01:23:24.68
Bill
So yeah, that was, uh, that was good. So, okay. Just, this isn't really an article, but I just have a question for you. Did you hear about

01:23:30.79
Mike
So real quick recap, do a fourth step, do a fifth step and work a 10th step every day. Okay. Uh huh.

01:23:36.73
Bill
Yes. Yep. Sorry about that.

01:23:38.15
Mike
Um, nah.

01:23:38.39
Bill
Didn't, didn't mean to gloss over, over that, but that's a, yeah, those, those are kind of important.

01:23:42.70
Mike
ah

01:23:43.55
Bill
All those things. Um, did you hear about, did you know that, um, first of all, did you know that Elon Musk had, um, like an AI chat bot kind of like chat to GPT or anything?

01:23:53.25
Mike
um

01:23:55.03
Bill
I had, I had no idea.

01:23:55.82
Mike
now man I don't fuck with any of those things, but okay.

01:23:57.03
Bill
Okay.

01:24:00.26
Mike
who No matter who created them or is behind them or whatever.

01:24:00.75
Bill
Okay. yeah

01:24:03.86
Mike
Nope.

01:24:04.99
Bill
So do you, I guess I haven't really asked you, well, except with the exception of the 4th of July stuff. So you do you like the little AI shit that I'm putting together with our, some of this cartoon stuff that we do?

01:24:14.00
Mike
Oh, yeah, it's cute.

01:24:15.56
Bill
Yeah, I thought so too. I'm like, like, this is kind of, this is kind of fun. So.

01:24:18.87
Mike
Well, clearly I chose one of them as my profile picture on Facebook, so yeah.

01:24:23.15
Bill
Oh, did you?

01:24:23.79
Mike
The demon one. Ah.

01:24:25.18
Bill
Oh, yeah.

01:24:25.52
Mike
Okay.

01:24:25.86
Bill
Okay.

01:24:25.84
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:24:26.22
Bill
Yeah. I forgot. I forgot about that. Um, son of a bitch. Oh, God damn it. And of course I saved the, I saved the Rolling Stone article and now it's telling me to fucking log in.

01:24:38.12
Mike
ah

01:24:38.27
Bill
Okay. I'm going to give you the, give you the thing. So, um, apparently what happened was, is that, uh, so Elon Musk does have an AI chat bot, kind of like a chat GPT, Google has blah, blah, blah.

01:24:47.24
Mike
and okay

01:24:48.54
Bill
Um, but basically what happened was, is that, um, I, somebody was either using it or something like that through it was like one of the chat bots through his, obviously through what used to be Twitter. And it started to, first of all, said some sort of like rant about ah praising Adolf Hitler.

01:25:06.89
Bill
The chatbot was doing this.

01:25:08.28
Mike
Right. Well, I mean, a lot of that AI stuff, especially the early stuff, yeah, it did that a lot.

01:25:15.67
Bill
Did it really?

01:25:16.22
Mike
Like a couple years ago when it was like new and whatever, yeah it would start going on about Hitler and how wonderful he was. Yeah.

01:25:24.63
Bill
Yeah. Can I, you know what, that that's, ah it's, I'm going to say the, the, the concept is funny in a bad way, but I, I had never heard that before.

01:25:30.91
Mike
and sir Oh, yeah.

01:25:33.99
Bill
But then the, then the other one was, it's apparently it made some sexual threats, um, like some literal, like sexual assault threats, you know, on, on this, like this user.

01:25:38.57
Mike
Nice. Nice. ice

01:25:43.20
Bill
And I'm like, I'm like, holy fuck. you know like This is just the the thing. But they were talking about it um on on the morning show. And you know they they made a good point because they're like, well, you know first of all, AI is just, um I mean, literally all it's doing is you know it's taking what it can but it can farm out, you know farm from the internet, and it could do it really quickly and in form, and I'll say, an opinion, you know quote unquote,

01:26:01.74
Mike
Yeah, right. Right.

01:26:08.27
Bill
And, you know, just all it's doing is regurgitating. It's not really learning anything, you know, at this point.

01:26:11.73
Mike
Right. Right.

01:26:13.41
Bill
um You know, i maybe it is over time, but, you know, it's just taking information that's all out there and into one thing, you know, and um they they always talk about this on the morning show and I've never really um'm tested it out.

01:26:15.81
Mike
Uh-huh.

01:26:18.35
Mike
Right.

01:26:26.16
Bill
But they said that, you know, with when it comes to in, I hope if any, if the word Hitler keeps coming up.

01:26:32.06
Mike
the fast

01:26:32.60
Bill
um we're We're only speaking of this for newsworthy items. That's it.

01:26:35.75
Mike
Right.

01:26:36.63
Bill
Neither one of us have any other conversation about about Hitler.

01:26:37.42
Mike
yeah Right. He was good in the beginning.

01:26:40.63
Bill
um

01:26:41.44
Mike
He built good roads.

01:26:44.53
Bill
yeah The Autobahn's kind nice, isn't it

01:26:46.83
Mike
It's not hate, it's heritage. Boy, we've got a theme going on this one. Right.

01:26:50.68
Bill
Yeah, but tom yeah, do not. wait

01:26:53.53
Mike
Right.

01:26:55.48
Bill
where that We're not, we're not no Confederate flags and no Hitlers for our, for our picture this week.

01:26:57.95
Mike
right

01:26:59.82
Bill
um But the, yeah but dumb what I was going to say was, is that the, they, they always talked about in the morning show that the, there, there's so much, I mean, you know, again, like you say, it is history,

01:27:12.96
Mike
Right.

01:27:13.27
Bill
And it's like anytime you could probably turn on, and you have cable, I don't anymore, but if you turned on cable almost any time of the day or night, you could find a documentary, a series, something, because it's it's just, it's this deep part of horrible history, right?

01:27:16.70
Mike
Right.

01:27:22.77
Mike
Right.

01:27:26.04
Mike
Right, exactly.

01:27:26.39
Bill
um So, I mean, where AI is going to get that shit, right?

01:27:30.06
Mike
Sure.

01:27:30.28
Bill
You know, but there was only one time because, i mean, there's a lot of podcasts out there that um i I know for a fact, like Elise, Sober Curator, she uses AI to do their episode descriptions whatever.

01:27:40.72
Mike
Right.

01:27:40.83
Bill
um i I do the work and I do it myself because I like to, you know, and it's easy.

01:27:43.11
Mike
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Right.

01:27:45.13
Bill
um but But the one time I took our i took our episode and I said, um do a description of this episode, blah, blah, blah. And and i put it I put it in there and I swear to fucking God, it was like three seconds later and had a complete description of our entire episode.

01:28:01.68
Mike
Huh.

01:28:02.19
Bill
And I'm like, that's fucking creepy. and you know

01:28:04.68
Mike
Yeah.

01:28:05.30
Bill
In a bad way, but in a good way, I'm like, God damn, that's kind of, I'm like, holy shit, that's fucking weird.

01:28:06.34
Mike
Uh-huh. Right.

01:28:10.29
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:28:11.21
Bill
Um, but yeah, I don't know. I mean, the AI stuff, it's just, I'm, I'm having kind of fun with the with the picture type of thing. And I'm keeping with the cartoon theme because I've done a couple of pictures, you know, with, uh, and I, the the funny part is we've got a lot of pictures, but there's not a lot of them that are, you know, you and I sitting together.

01:28:23.27
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:28:26.73
Mike
Right.

01:28:26.93
Bill
Like the most recent one I took from when you and I were sitting at the, uh, uh, Dr. Bob's house at the table.

01:28:32.59
Mike
Right.

01:28:32.90
Bill
And I said, make it into a podcast studio.

01:28:35.32
Mike
Yeah.

01:28:35.93
Bill
And the, the first picture, It's the first picture out of all the other ones that you haven't had your sunglasses on.

01:28:42.36
Mike
Mm-hmm.

01:28:43.28
Bill
And it gave both of us like fucking Simpsons eyes, right?

01:28:46.18
Mike
Yeah.

01:28:46.33
Bill
I mean, these big old fucking googly eyes. And I'm like, like, that's just like, and we're sitting in front this coffee pot at the table. I'm like, well, that kind of seems fitting. it looks like we're like, we're all fucking coked up is what it looks like. Yeah.

01:28:56.21
Mike
I'll gacked up on caffeine.

01:28:58.42
Bill
So I threw the picture back up and I'm like, put sunglasses on these guys. So it came back and put sunglasses on us, which is kind of fucking it weird. it It developed this picture of this podcast. studio I'm just like, put sunglasses on them, please.

01:29:10.99
Bill
I didn't put please. But um so i don't know. It's just it's kind of fun. But yeah, if it ever spits out any any of the the H word or anything like that, I just it blew my mind. And then, yeah, sexual assault.

01:29:21.16
Mike
right.

01:29:22.12
Bill
No, none of that. None of that.

01:29:23.01
Mike
Right. So let's see. Let's recap. don't don't yeah Don't let this one... Don't put this episode into AI to put a... Yeah, because there's several...

01:29:31.99
Bill
Oh, no, no, no.

01:29:32.79
Mike
Right. yeah

01:29:35.15
Bill
Confederate flags and Hitler's and sexual assault and none of that.

01:29:36.96
Mike
Yep. Hate and sexual... Yeah, exactly. Fingers and fists. and

01:29:41.81
Bill
Oh, yeah. Did we say fist? I knew we said fingers.

01:29:44.18
Mike
And you did.

01:29:45.46
Bill
I said I used my entire hand.

01:29:46.83
Mike
ah okay. Okay.

01:29:48.80
Bill
But now you said fist.

01:29:50.15
Mike
Right. I did. Right.

01:29:51.86
Bill
God damn it.

01:29:52.04
Mike
Right.

01:29:54.95
Bill
All right. Well, we're going be going to hold new set of listeners over that fingering and fists. ah Well, little episode title, fingering and fists. I don't give a fuck. As long as it's not Hitler or or a Confederate flag, I'm good.

01:30:07.30
Mike
right

01:30:07.62
Bill
Whatever you decide to come up with. All right, man. It is it is late in the evening, I know, especially for you. So let's get the fuck out of here. What do you think? Your turn.

01:30:15.80
Mike
All right. Well, thank you, everyone, for listening to yet another episode of Sober Not Mature. always, be kind to each other. be good to each other. go out and do something nice for somebody else this week, and don't tell anybody you did it.

01:30:30.79
Mike
Now, from the bottom of my heart to the depths of my soul, from the beginning of time till the ends of the earth, always and eternally, fuck you.

01:30:44.53
Mike
Now it's that time, kids. It is time for you to fuck off. Then keep fucking off. Keep fucking off till you get to a gate with a sign on it saying, you cannot fuck off past here.

01:30:59.27
Mike
Climb over that gate. Dream the impossible dream. Keep fucking off forever.

01:31:07.86
Bill
Yes, I second that.

01:31:11.63
Bill
All right. So um I don't know. I think we we did some we did some work, whatever the work might be.

01:31:15.67
Mike
We did.

01:31:16.43
Bill
We did some work for a Thursday, and you're going go off and do some charity shit. I'm going to go play on some trails this weekend, and I think we'll we'll meet up here again on, wait, next week is Friday.

01:31:22.60
Mike
yep

01:31:26.00
Bill
Yeah, we're going to meet on a Friday.

01:31:26.49
Mike
Yeah.

01:31:27.36
Bill
Fuck.

01:31:27.73
Mike
well Yes. underid The rare Friday. love you too.

01:31:31.84
Bill
what the What the hell? All right, man.

01:31:34.09
Mike
We shall.

01:31:35.28
Bill
I love you, brother.

01:31:36.27
Mike
Bye.

01:31:37.40
Bill
And we'll chat soon.

01:31:38.51
Mike
we shall

01:31:40.03
Bill
Bye.

01:31:40.80
Mike
by